Each week lately I hit a "new low" for this phase of my journey with weight.  It's usually at the end of the week and early in the week I "gain" back a bit.  But the trend remains downward, week after week.  I am so happy that I have been writing my weight down every day for a few years...it lets me see the patterns...and how they change.
Almost all the clothes in my closet fit and look good.  At my current weight, I feel and look healthy.  10 or 15 pounds more than this, I don't.  I wore a pair of jeans last Friday that I haven't worn in over a year and that felt really good.  I have also worn some things that have NEVER fit (because I bought them too small...thinking I'd keep losing...and didn't).
I am 5 pounds or so above my lowest weight from October 2009.  And, yes, I would like to lose those 5 pounds too and 5 more for good measure.
I am more fit than I was a few years ago, I think.  I feel strong and graceful getting back into my Yoga Body.  I still am getting up at an hour I never have before (voluntarily) for yoga twice a week (class starts at 6:45).  Getting up is hard, but once I am there I am so happy.
Trying on my wedding dresses (I have 14 -- two for each day of Burning Man -- my art project = me = The Bride!), my arms look toned and strong.  And wedding dresses are seemingly engineered to look and fit better than any clothes I have ever worn before -- I swear I look, well, beautiful in every one!  What fun!
I am still going to therapy but am considering quitting -- the One Big Thing that I wanted to deal with doesn't seem to be coming up with this therapist.  Some weeks it is useful, but mostly I feel like I'm wasting time and money.
We are heavily into pre-Burning Man preps, but I think we will be good and ready by the time we leave on August 28.  It will be a special year, for sure!  DB and I are determined to stay healthy.
I go in for blood work and gyne appointment the week before we leave.  I am excited (and hopeful) that the meds, supplements and small dietary changes that I have made show in the blood work.  Right now, I am using my scale as a gauge of health -- seeing my weight go down the past couple of months with minimal diet and exercise changes has made me realize what a useful tool it is for that.  I should have known earlier this year when my weight was weird and I couldn't fix it that something else in my system was too.
Work continues exceedingly busy...but I am taking deep breaths and trying to remain calm!  ;-)
A friend signed off an e-mail recently with something I really love and am going to start to use:
If anything can go well, it will.
 
2 comments:
such a good post.
the scientific part of each of our journies is so interesting to me. And you are exactly right, we have to be doing the food/exercise part in order to be able to see the 'inner workings (or not workings) part'.
Your therapist. My suggestion - write her an email or a letter with what you said here. And send it to her. You will then be forced to talk to her about it. And you will then either move on to a better/new level with her, or you will know that it is not working with her, and find another.
Such great stuff. Congrats on everything, Helen! And I thought I was lucky getting to wear my wedding dress twice--once at our wedding, once at our reception which was 7 months later on October 28th, and it was a costume party and of course I went as a bride. You get 14 dresses! If you had time, you should write a book about this experience. :)
I hope you post pics after BM. Would love to see every dress & how gorgeous you look, and yes, you will be a glowing bride.
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