Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The usual...another hectic weekend!

Friday night we went to dinner at Souplantation -- yummy salad, low fat soup and fat-free frozen yogurt -- then to Sport Chalet to buy snorkel gear for the Mexico trip. I found my snorkel set-up pretty quickly then wandered over to the super-sale area in the ski department. It was AMAZING how much cheaper things were than just three months ago. I ended up in the ski boot section because I've said I would get DB his own ski boots for Christmas this year (he has very wide feet and often ends up sore with the rental boots we always get). Wellllll...I saw some really pretty ski boots and thought I'd try them on while DB continued looking at snorkel stuff. Found a really knowledgeable salesguy and, long story short, I bought myself some slammin' ski boots for HALF PRICE and DB ordered some to try this week which will also save us hundreds of dollars from what we would pay later in the year!! I also found a beautiful cotton wide-brimmed pink sun hat for the beach in Mexico -- it's great because I can roll it up in my suitcase (hard to do that with straw beach hats). Now I'll just have to buy a new pink swimsuit to match...but first I think I have to get rid of some of the NINE bathing suits I have (hey, give me a break, I live at the beach!)...

I am going to get rid of all the suits that don't give good bust support...I don't feel comfy in them and I never will. That will bring me down to about 3 or so suits so I will allow myself to buy another one for Mexico. ;-) Mostly I'm planning to wear a bathing suit every day under either a sarong, shorts or a skirt. I think I can pack pretty lightly like this!

Speaking of bathing suits...I was in one almost all day on Sunday, photos were taken and the camera did not break! Of course, the old thighs are not what I dream that might be (and never, realistically, will be), but it wasn't too horrible. I still want to lose a little more to ameliorate the thigh-rubbing-together possibility, but I was pretty comfy frolicking on the beach with the kiddies.

We had lots of fun with the kids this weekend, but three-at-a-time is definitely tiring! Add to that that Cry Baby only likes DB and Smiley only likes me so that's a little extra "fun"! ;-) We did have a great day at the beach on Sunday though -- Princess learned to boogie board and I was in with her for a long time too. DB and I both got sunburned (despite sunblock), but we managed to keep the kids burn-free. After about 5 hours at the beach, we all came back to our house to play for a while with our friends and their kids. We tired the kids out...they slept "in" yesterday until after I was even up (had to get up early for my annual physical). :-) I've got a million cute stories about the grandkids, but I won't bore you...suffice it to say that they are all (even Cry Baby) extremely adorable and lovable and DB and I thank our lucky stars that we get to spend special times with them...even if it will take us until next weekend to recover! ;-)

My physical yesterday was good (I love my GP). My BP is great (116/70 yesterday), my weight is down from last year, etc. My main complaint is a chest pain I've been having -- from the times of day that it happens, he thinks it has to do with what/when I'm eating so I'm going to work on eating a little more frequently (after I get back from Bathing-Suit-Every-Day-Land). He also pressed on my chest and we think that my arthritis is in there too because it REALLY hurt in one spot. Blood test results will come back later, but all-in-all I'm pretty healthy. :-) Of course, I forgot to ask him about whether I should worry about anti-malaria meds or Hep A vaccination before heading south, but I'll do that by phone later in the week...I hope.

I ate more than I wanted to this weekend (hard to eat perfect with kidlets around and I had a little wine on Saturday night and Sunday), but I think I did ok. Of course, Friday will tell...and I have two lunches "out" this week and that never is good. Still hoping for a few more lbs. off before May 24...

Friday, April 25, 2008

Officially 20 + pounds down! :-)

I lost another pound and a half this week (not too bad considering it's PMS week AND I had a huge loss last week) and this makes me officially down 20.2 pounds since mid-February. I am a happy camper.

BUT...this loss (unfortunately) doesn't mean I have to go buy all new clothes. I am still digging out things that used to fit and that I haven't been brave enough to try for a long time. The pants I have on today fit me about 3 years ago so I guess my big gain of about 20 pounds or more must have happened from about May 2005 to October 2006. From October 2006 until February of this year, I have been up and down but mostly have maintained in a 10-pound range. I am now seriously below the lowest I have been since October 2006.

Yes, I still want to lose more. Realistically, I can maybe lose 5 more pounds before we leave for vacation (one month from yesterday!). That will give me 5 pounds or so to play with while in margarita and chips land (where I'll also hopefully be doing a lot of exercise -- walking, snorkeling, swimming, etc.) and I can get back to loss again when we get home in June. Maybe I can lose another 10 or more before Burning Man...that would be fun! :-)

In the meantime, I am feeling pretty good in my body -- I actually put on clothes and feel like I look good more often than not (that was rare over the past few years). Even though I see some pretty yucky flaws (where did that underarm skin flap come from?!), I guess it's better than it was!!

Tomorrow is heavy-duty yoga again in the afternoon and we have three of the grandkids coming tomorrow afternoon for two days' visit. This is Princess (8-year-old girl), Smiley (3-year-old girl) and Cry Baby (1-year-old boy who hates me inexplicably so when I picture him I just see a wide open crying mouth...I'll get him a better name when he stops that!). We are having some friends and their two kids (2 Y.O. and 7 mo. old) down for a beach day on Sunday and that should be fun...maybe I'll crack out my wetsuit to get in the ocean! ;-)

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Wednesday Poochies

They're baaaaaaack. I've been oh-so-good this week so it's either (a) PMS week (which is really a misnomer since my period comes infrequently even on the hormones, or (b) I just was so EMPTY last week after The Vomit Disease that I felt slim all week. I sure hope I do not put any of that weight back on...grrrrrrrrr.

Will continue to be extra-good...feeling thinner feels GOOD. :-)

Monday, April 21, 2008

Yoga and other weekend stuff

Weekend was wonderful and relaxing...I had grocery-shopped last Wed. night so I didn't even have to do that! I literally had almost no plans!!! :-) We watched Lars and the Real Girl on Friday night (loved it), then slept in on Saturday. Took Doglet for a little walk, puttered around, then I went to yoga at 4. Despite literally working in a puddle of my sweat, it was great!!! I managed to make it through the whole class and do all but one thing and this is a TOUGH teacher. I was so proud of me. And I know I couldn't have done it a few months ago with all the extra weight and without my private yogas. But I am SORE still today -- every single muscle in my body aches (in a good way). Anyone who thinks yoga isn't tough exercise hasn't ever really done it!! I can't wait to get back to yoga full-time (after our trip, hopefully). I konked out early Sat. night.

Yesterday DB and I slept in (again), then after breakfast walked the whole boardwalk shopping for stuff for our trip (backpacks, hats, bathing suits for DB). It took us about 2 1/2 hours. Then we had a very late lunch at the Vietnamese place across the street, then home to chill until a little after 6 when we got on our bikes to head down to the Santa Monica Pier for a free concert for Earth Day. It was windy and COLD (well, Cali Cold) and my bike wasn't working too great so it was quite a workout peddling against the wind while bundled up!!! We hung down there and watched Taj Mahal for a while, then biked home after sunset. Had salad for dinner and some snacks.

I ate a little bit too much this weekend celebrating the weight loss...but I am back on the wagon today and hope it'll keep going down this week...I really can see the difference. :-)

Friday, April 18, 2008

The Drastic is becoming The Normal

I am thrilled to report that I managed to keep the whole 4-pound Sunday Vomit Loss off this week! :-) This brings my total loss in just about exactly two months to (drum roll please) 18.8 pounds! Since I said when I started The Drastic that I wanted to lose 20 pounds before my trip in May, I think it's pretty certain I'll meet that goal and maybe (not to count my pounds before they are gone) go beyond. Needless to say, this makes me pretty darn happy.

As I said to a friend this week, it's starting to feel like The Drastic is becoming The Normal. This feels like a huge sigh of relief to me. I have been struggling for pretty much the past 5 years since I quit smoking (and even more so in the past almost-4 years since meeting DB and starting my voyage into Happy Fat) against falling into the abyss of old habits that I used to have before The Big Loss. Now, after two months of The Drastic, I am starting to feel a little bit comfortable with the idea of this being The Normal again. And, my friends, that is a really great feeling.

Of course, this means that I have to be vigilant. And I have to be vigilant forever. I know none of us wants to hear that and some (maybe most) of us RESENT that it seems like so much of the world doesn't have to live with what we feel are RESTRICTIONS. But, I'm afraid, that's how it is for me. And that's how it probably is for a lot of you too if you are here reading this. However, I'm working at changing my outlook: just because I have to be vigilant, doesn't mean that I can't have a treat, a REAL treat, once in a while. I can even have a treat once a week. I just can't have a treat (or 5) every frickin' day!! And I can live with that.

Some days I may look at thin people and be mad when I see them eating a bag of chips with apparently no effect...but I have to get a grip on reality and realize that that is not me. I can't do that. And that doesn't mean I should be mad at the universe or at the thinnies or at my parents or at the chip companies...it just means that I have to accept who I am and live with it. In general, I am very good at that, but weight is such a heavy subject (ha ha) for me...it gets me in my gut (ha ha again)...and it's the toughest thing for me to confront and deal with. But I'm trying.

OK, on another note: as the bulge is going away, I'm starting to see a lot of cellulite and saggy skin over the muscles in my thighs and tummy (I've never had it on my tummy before -- yikes!). Any hot ideas about how to minimize this unsightliness??

Looking forward to tough yoga tomorrow afternoon...other than that, I have no real set-in-stone plans for the weekend and that is refreshing...I am looking forward to some really good relaxation. :-)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Feeling better

But this stomach thing was so fierce that I am a little afraid every time I eat -- not a bad thing! I have been eating less than usual the past few days (although maybe more calories yesterday as I tried to find things that were "good" and didn't irritate my stomach -- but volume has been less). I still feel a little nauseous all the time...and some things (my usual decaf for example) exacerbates things.

I am thrilled, however, to be wearing a pair of pants comfortably today that I have never been able to wear since I bought them late last year in anticipation of losing. And I think I look good. People are starting to notice a little bit and that helps me stay strong too. :-) I'm starting to remember how I felt when I was thinner...and it's GOOD.

So now I'm thinking about just how much I'd like to lose in total. I am sure I do not want to be as skinny as I ultimately got in late 1996-97 (photos are not flattering -- my niece, who was not born until January 1997, sees photos of me then and says I look "freaky" -- I think I look emaciated). Twenty pounds higher than my lowest weight would be really really nice and that's not too far away. More than a particular weight, I'd just like to be a solid 10 again (right now I'm a 12-14).

In the meantime, I'm just plugging away.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Do not try this at home

The UN-recommended way to lose weight: get a horrible stomach flu. I did on Sunday and lost 4 pounds. Am still not feeling totally well, but at least the extremely high fever is gone and I can sit up for more than a minute without either vomiting or feeling like I'll pass out.

Hot tip: a teaspoon of honey if you can't stop vomiting. It worked for me.

Hoping to hold on to at least a little of the loss, but some will surely come back when I can eat more than a few hundred calories a day and am more rehydrated.

P.S. Lying in bed for two days, I got to see The Biggest Loser for the first time (although I think it might have been a repeat of a previous season finale) and it was great. Also watched some of Celebrity Fit Club Boot Camp...ugh.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Still losing...

...but not much this week. I'm down just 0.6 pounds and still 0.2 from the elusive 15 pound mark.

One of the really good things about The Drastic (which really, when I think about it, is just being serious and honest about what I am putting into my body) is that I know exactly what happened this week that was different than other weeks when I have lost more:

- Ski trip last weekend = lots of now-unaccustomed drinking, more snacking than usual, different exercise.
- Three unaccustomed meals this work week = business lunch on Tuesday (I ate salad, but full-fat dressing), dinner out on Wednesday (I ate veggie fajitas, but had a glass of wine and a few chips) and lunch out yesterday (sushi = soy sauce = sodium = weight)

I am actually very happy to have seen the scale go down today with all that in mind. But it still is pretty frustrating that I can be SO good (relatively few "cheats" in a week) and still be oh-so-close to gaining, not losing. :-(

I have a very busy weekend (when do I not?) -- DB and I are taking Princess (granddaughter) to a benefit for a monkey sanctuary tomorrow morning early, then lunch with her family and some friends who live in that town, then cocktail party tomorrow night (where I will have ONE glass of wine). Sunday we are headed to Nearby Town to see DB's oldest sister who is on duty there with the parents this week (even though she's actually fighting breast cancer herself right now). Somehow I will have to get in my two exercise episodes this weekend and I am DETERMINED to make that work. Without that, I am done for.

I still have a good chance of losing another 5 pounds before we leave for Mexico in about 6 weeks...I'd love it to be more, but am trying to be realistic. The happy news is that several people actually have mentioned this week that they see me getting thinner and that is very good impetus to keep going and not yo-yo up again. My clothes are comfortable and, for the first time in a long time, I actual feel like I'm starting to look good.

I have my annual physical on Monday. I've been feeling kind of weird/yucky some the past week -- headaches (which I never get), dizziness, chest discomfort, hot flashes. I think it's probably hormone imbalance (and hope it's not something scary!) so am getting special blood tests on Monday to go over with my gyne.

My private yoga is over as of last night -- I shed a tear when leaving my teacher's house -- it has been SO HARD for me to get back on the mat because of fear of hurting myself, fear of facing how my yoga skills have diminished (I try to think of it as "changed"). Fear. With my teacher (a fellow Hoosier!), I have gotten back enough confidence to keep going and have gotten comfortable with my own practice. Another of my favorite teachers is subbing some classes the next two weekends that I will be able to attend. That will get me back into the studio atmosphere so I will have faced another hurdle -- and I feel comfortable with her because I know she knows my issues and my abilities. After that, I will have to face a class where I don't know the teacher or what to expect. Scary, but by then I should feel even more confident and able to keep on going.

Right now, the pervasive feeling I have is one of getting back to ME. I want to keep going that way... :-)

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Check out the video...

...that my sweetie made of me skiing last weekend:

FUN!! ;-)

Monday, April 7, 2008

Super-fun ski weekend!

Our little bus trip skiing was a resounding success of fun...it's the end of the ski season for us, but we hope to get to do it again some weekend (or maybe more than one) next year! As expected, it was a whirlwind, but relaxing in its own way:

We raced to get to the bus which was to leave at 6 pm sharp...and it did! When we boarded, people had already started the party...some were actually nearly three sheets to the wind before the bus even started up. ;-) We met the leader of the trip and the people sitting near us -- it ended up that three of them (single guys) were already assigned to be our "roommates" in the condo where we were assigned in Mammoth. They were all characters, but super nice and they totally adopted us as they had done the trip many times before.

We settled in, DB cracked open a beer and I had some wine (which we had brought) -- we also got Subway sandwiches for dinner and had healthy snacks (mostly TJs beef jerky which we've become addicted to -- low fat, high protein, not bad sodium, filling and delicious). It was a very jovial atmosphere. I read and half-watched the movie they put on when it got dark (Fast Times at Ridgemont High). Riding through the desert in the night was almost like flying -- nothing to see out our windows as we hurtled through the night. I slept for about the last hour of the trip and we got there a little after midnight (excellent time for a bus that had to get out of L.A. in Friday night rush hour traffic!). We found our place (we had a private bedroom and bathroom in the condo -- very separate from the common area) and went right to sleep...the morning would come early.

We got up at 7 for breakfast with our roommates then we took our time getting ready -- we had decided to ski out of another lodge than the one the club was going to (the bus left at 8 for the slopes). We took the local (free) shuttle to the gondola in The Village and took that up to the lodge where we'd be based. Got our tickets and rentals and got off the lift for our first run by 10. The beginner "green" hill at this lodge was very fun and challenging for me...I skied it the whole weekend...much longer than I was used to so I had to rest on the way down every time! But it was FUN. DB left me to go ski his fast style on more difficult runs but would come back to check on me every once in a while. By about 12:30, my right knee was hurting so much that I decided I had to rest or maybe even stop for the day. It ended up being stop for the day -- DB was also tired by about 1 so we headed back to our condo, picking up some drinks and good snacks on the way home.

We grabbed some drinks and headed to the hot tub for a nice long soak before everyone else got back from skiing. We had fun chatting with one of our roommates who was a real character and a very nice guy. At 4, we went back for a shower and a nap which was WONDERFUL. The apres-ski is one of my favorite parts of the whole skiing thing! At 5 we got ready for the party. Yes, this club had a party on Saturday night -- they provide food and everyone is invited to bring their own drinks. They pick a condo in which to have the party and, you guessed it, we were in the Party Condo. It was actually really nice -- everyone came to us so we didn't even have to put shoes on and got to meet a lot of fun people. By 7:30 everyone was off to have dinner (either in their condo -- they provide dinner with the trip -- or on their own -- we went for sushi). We were in bed asleep by 10.

Sunday, the alarm went off at 7. It seemed awfully dark, but it was important for us to get up and get going on time because we had to have all of our luggage on the bus at 8 before it left for the day (we could take ourselves by shuttle later, but we had to have all our gear sorted and ready). I got up, put on my contacts, started to do last minute packing and then looked at the clock -- it was SIX am! DB's Blackberry had changed the time in the middle of the night (this weekend was apparently the old "spring ahead" weekend) and it said 7 when it was 6!!!! I was a wee bit cranky about this...took out my contacts and went back to sleep for another hour. ;-)

When we got up for real, we got ready, ate breakfast (a nice roommate cooked for us every morning -- I ate the omelette on Saturday, but skipped it for dry toast on Sunday -- I needed to get a grip on the food with all the unaccustomed drinking I was doing!) and got our stuff on the bus. Then we shuttled over to "our" lodge and hit the slopes by 9:30. My knee was hurting again by noon, so I stopped for the day, had some salad and hooked up with DB about 1 when I was having a beer in the bar overlooking the slopes (I love to watch the skiers when I'm not actually skiing!). We went to the other lodge where the bus was, changed our clothes, wandered around looking at helmets (I'm going fast enough now that I think I need/want one for next season) then settled down for a snack and another beer (I am NOT a beer drinker usually, but in the afternoon when skiing, I kind of like the taste of Hefeweizen with lemon). The bus left at 4, stopped to pick up sandwiches (which we had ordered earlier for everyone) and we were back by 9. It was great not to have to drive after skiing on Sunday! And they played two movies on the way back: Blazing Saddles (meh) and Rendition (good, but flawed). We were home before 10 (which was much earlier than expected so we were happy!). I actually feel like I had a little vacation. :-)

Now for the summary of what you're all here for:

Food: I didn't do badly at all. Subway and jerky on Friday night. Omelette, small piece of bacon and dry toast on Saturday morning. Open-faced tuna sandwich and water for lunch. Ate very little of the bad snacks at the party on Sat. Small spicy tuna salad and veggie roll and miso soup for dinner. Sunday was just dry cinnamon raisin toast and coffee for breakfast, salad for lunch, teeny chicken open-faced chicken appetizer for snack, huge Mediterranean veggie sandwich and Caesar salad for dinner and some pretzels for snack.

Drinking: Not as good. I drank the whole bottle of red wine that DB had put in a Gatorade bottle for me on the way up. Believe it or not, that is not bad for my previous drinking ways -- it's like having 3 or 4 glasses over a 6-hour period. And I had a beer when we got to the condo. BUT, I really felt this because I'm not used to drinking anymore. I was SO dehydrated and felt yucko in the night and the next morning. This did not, however, stop me from drinking a similar amount of red wine, plus sake at dinner, on Saturday night. Again, I was up off and on all night with dry mouth and bad dreams and feeling pretty yuck. Yesterday I had about 2 1/2 beers.

So that's my confession. Not great, but I did get a lot of exercise (just walking in ski boots is exercise!) and I was pretty good with food and I'm immediately back on the wagon. My ski pants (that I bought before I first skied three years ago) were looser than they have ever been (yay). And my assistant told me this morning she could really see me slimming in my waist.

Fun was had...some cheating was had too...and I may pay the price at weigh-in on Friday. But I'm still committed to The Drastic and have several more weeks before beach bathing suit time...

Friday, April 4, 2008

Now is when it gets hard...

...sticking with it when results are less than I hoped. I'm down another 1.6 pounds this week and I should be happy. Happy that I keep losing consistently every week for the past weeks since starting The Drastic. Happy that I weigh less than I did last year at this time (barely, but...). Happy that I am feeling stronger and more fit. Happy that people have actually noticed. But I feel disappointed. I was virtually perfect this week and this seems like a paltry loss for how good I was. I was hungrier than usual and, despite this, I did not eat more. I did my usual exercise and a little bit more. I stuck to it. At this rate I still MIGHT be able to lose a total of 20 pounds before we leave on May 24, but that is going to be probably close to as good as it gets (I've lost a total of 14.2 since Feb. 19...I was hoping to break 15 today).

Enough negativity for one post, sorry...

So tonight we're off for skiing weekend...it will be a whirlwind and probably not too relaxing...we get in to the condo tonight at midnight or after and the bus leaves for the slopes around 8 am tomorrow morning. Two full days of skiing, then back home around 11 pm on Sunday night. DB is feeling sickly this morning so I'm hoping he feels better by the time we leave or this will be much less fun. But I am still looking forward to getting away, getting into the snow and skiing!! :-) Lots of good exercise hopefully and I vow to be careful with food (we have packed healthy snacks and dinner for the bus).

OK...positivity: I've lost ALMOST 15 pounds in seven weeks. :-)

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Finally, a non-poochy Wednesday!!

So maybe it's not Wednesday...I'm feeling not-too-poochy today. But I have been feeling a lot more hungry than usual yesterday and today. This is weird because I literally eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch every weekday and have been for weeks. Last night I was so hungry after work that I wished I had something to eat on the way to the gym -- I thought I was going to be sick, I was so hungry! I made it through my workout though and went home for a nice salad and my popsicle treat. :-) Maybe my muscles are needing more fuel? I was doing so well with not being hungry so this is kind of disconcerting...

Our ski bus trip was officially cancelled last night so from then until this morning I was madly looking for another bus trip to take us and, voila, I found one! It's more expensive than the one we had booked (by about $40/person), but we were really disappointed at the thought of not going when we had been looking forward to it so much. Taking the bus "tour" makes a weekend up to Mammoth (about 5-6 hour drive away) doable without missing work -- the bus leaves at 6 pm on Friday and gets back about 10 pm on Sunday. In the middle, we get two full days of skiing, get to stay in a nice condo and get to relax on the drive (rather than driving ourselves). I'm really happy that this worked out! Lots of fun exercise coming up for the weekend! :-)

Tonight I'm taking my mom to see the Joan Rivers show (it was that good) and a colleague and my assistant are also going...looking forward to laughing a lot again even though I have to JAM home to pick up my mom in order to get to the theatre by 7:30.

Tomorrow night I have yoga, then we have to JAM (again) to get our ski rentals for the weekend and pack.

In among this, there's no time to overeat...well...you know, there SHOULDN'T be time. We'll pack dinner for the bus on Friday night and will try to have something healthy for the drive home as well (they offer to order pizza...and beer...yikes!!).

I'm hopeful that the scale will continue down at my Friday weigh-in...I am happy that it feels like it is and that I'm being good on The Drastic, but I sure wish it was faster!!!!!!!! Can I get an AMEN to that? :-)