Wednesday, November 23, 2011


Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ~William Arthur Ward

On the eve of my favorite holiday, topping my list of the things for which I am thankful this year:

- Beautiful DB. Husband, lover, friend, partner, playmate, The One. Every year is better. I am aware of it and I try to make sure he feels it always.

- My mommy. So happy that she is healthy and will be joining us tonight through Friday for our celebration.

- NYC family. I missed seeing them this year, but am so looking forward to a long visit next summer for our next wedding. My sister will be my matron of honor -- 25 years after I was hers. :-)

- PD1 and PD2. Such amazing women who I am allowed to pretend are my daughters. They are in my heart.

- 6 grandkids. Each and every one a joy to me in so many ways. The smiles (and hugs) they give tickle my heart.

- Dear darling friends. I am blessed with a plethora and some will be with us tomorrow to celebrate, yay!

- My job. After 18 years, it is still challenging and I work for and with the most amazing people.

- My house. With the economy as it is, I count myself extremely blessed to still have our house. Although home is wherever I'm with DB, it's nice to have the house we have now.

- My yoga. I write enough about that here so no more details necessary.

- My lower weight. Today I weigh 12 pounds less than I did on Thanksgiving morning last year and 2 pounds less than the year before (when I last was in a good range). I am grateful to me for making this a priority this year.

There is so much more...I am lucky and my heart is full.

May anyone reading this feel the same joy I do...Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Hovering in a lower range

By last Saturday, the scale actually showed a pound and a half below my previous low so I had broken new territory for a few days in a row. This, of course, feels great. I, however, have trouble resisting weekend treats all the time. Most weekends are pretty good, but...

We went to a birthday party last Saturday night for one of our best friends which morphed into an engagement party for a couple we know well who had just gotten engaged that morning. The party started at 8:30 so we went out to dinner at my new favorite place where I can get a good dinner of protein (amazing deviled eggs) and delicious veggies (a kale salad and brussels sprouts which make my mouth water). DB and I felt good after dinner -- we remarked that we were full, but not too full. Then we went to the party.

I figured there wouldn't be a lot of food since it was so late (which is why we ate before). I was soooo wrong. There was a ton of food. And the food at this friend's house is always always bad (again, a reason I had eaten before...just in case). I ate too much. I had salty chips and cheese and a few crackers. I managed to stop myself before diving into the cake, but it was too late. Sunday morning, my scale showed a gain of 5 pounds since Saturday morning. :-(

Now, you and I both know that this happens with me fairly frequently. I can put on a huge amount of lbs in just day. They come off quickly, but not as quickly as they go on. DB and I made a bet about just how long it would take for them to be gone. We both lost (he said Monday, I said Wednesday). This morning I am still a pound over what I was last Saturday morning.

It's amazing how fast my sabotage causes damage and how slow I am to recover. I'm not mad about this...just trying to become aware so maybe, more often, I will stop before my hand lands on that salty chip.

The good news is that:

- people continue to remark at how "skinny" I am getting.

- a friend gave me a pair of jeans the other night that are gorgeous and I said "well, these will fit me soon". I went home and they fit (I could wear them, but they are tight). They will be awesome in 5 more pounds. They are the size I was when I was at my best (10), not skinniest (6 or 8 -- which, for me, is too thin).

- when I have these UP days, the high weight is a LOT less than my low weight used to be so I'm hovering in a lower range.


Thursday, November 10, 2011

New low (by a teeny bit)

After a surge of weight on the scale during Halloween weekend (too many carbs), today the scale officially is lower than it has been since I started this part of my journey back in 2006. I am 0.8 pounds lower than my lowest back at Halloween 2009. Yay! I have been wondering what's going on that's making this finally (apparently) happen...more on that later.

I am so happy that I weigh myself every day and write it down no matter what. Because of that, I know that I maintained my previous low for a grand total of one day and never saw that weight on the scale again until yesterday. Nevertheless, I did manage to keep within 10 pounds of that weight for about a year. Then the scale started to creep up. As you may remember, I tried from about last December through May to lose the (almost 20) pounds I had gained to no avail. In May, I made some tiny dietary changes, started some new supplements and medication and the weight started to come off. Since August, I have mostly been maintaining within a few pounds (up) of what I weighed before the wedding. My weight this morning is merely 2 pounds below my pre-wedding weight. But, psychologically, since this is a new low, it's big to me.

Why is this happening? I was just talking with DB this morning about why I think the scale has started to inch downward again for me and he said (in a complimentary way): "you are always working to figure this stuff out". Yes, I am. And I try to be mindful of even the smallest changes in my exercise, diet, medication. I have to be. I don't have the luxury of just eating whatever I "want" like some people do (and, yes, there are those people -- DB is one to some extent). I am not SURE yet what is low day is not enough to make me go crazy...but I think there is something happening. My current guess? From May, when I started my early morning yoga and morning (rather than evening) showering, I have been careless about doing my estradiol cream in the evenings. I noticed during the past month or so that I have been waking up hot in the night and I figured that was because of skipping my evening dose. So, during the last week, I have concentrated on taking it again. I am sleeping much better and, perhaps, this regained balance in my system is allowing my body to shed some more lbs. We'll see.

This week is also (as my assistant put it this morning) "Helen's New Dress Week". In the past month, I realized that, while all of my clothes now fit or are too big, I am totally sick of my work clothes. I don't think I have bought substantially anything new for work in maybe 8 years. So I have been shopping a few times the past few weeks -- determined to buy things that don't just fit, but look good on me too. It has been hard -- I am used to buying something if it fits and I like the color or style regardless of how it looks on ME. I have now gotten three new dresses that fit those criteria and have started wearing my older smaller work clothes again (so they feel like new) and I feel pretty this week. Feeling pretty feels good. My mood is fantastic. :-)

One more fun thing: I have become totally addicted to curry and think this will be a huge winter go-to dinner staple. Some friends brought us back a special curry powder from a recent trip to Indiana (go figure!) and it's AMAZING. I heat up some ghee in a skillet, add a bunch of curry powder, then saute veg for a bit (I use cauliflower, green beans, onions, red pepper and mushrooms), then add a little lite coconut milk and cook until the veg are cooked through. Then I add some frozen chicken breast cutlets on top. They cook in about 10 minutes and, voila, yummy one-pot dinner. Plus this powder has a slightly sweet kind of cinnamon taste that feels (and smells up the house) like fall/winter to me. YUM. We use leftovers in our egg product scrambles the next morning(s).

Finally, yoga continues to make my body feel more itself. I feel the effects just walking around. Posture is better. Muscles are stronger. Attitude is happier.

So, despite some continuing challenges with our family (yes, I know I haven't written about it...someday), I feel good. :-)