Thursday, September 18, 2008

Addict's Mind

I feel my Addict's Mind working overtime lately.

I have not been eating or exercising The Drastic way for about a month (since our friend arrived before Burning Man). At times I have been eating pretty well and exercising pretty well. Other times, not. Never as bad as I can be, but bad enough. As of last Friday, I had gained almost 10 pounds over my absolute lowest since February. I vowed that I would get back on The Drastic wagon last Monday. Didn't happen...

I have had a sore throat and cough all week. Have missed about a total of two days work which, with my current workload, is time I really can't afford. I still am coughing and a little stuffy, but back to work today.

Then the bad news on Monday which made Addict's Mind, which is oh-so-great at finding excuses, say "you need Chinese food AND a few drinks to cheer up". (Yes, I know hot toddies don't cure sickness, but they sure made me feel better...for a little while.)

On Tuesday, I needed salad pizza and beer for dinner to make me feel better (and I didn't go to the gym either because I was sick). Of course, it didn't.

But, on Wednesday, Addict's Mind "needed" more Chinese wonton soup (since I was still sick) and a beer (what for? who knows?). At this point, Addict's Mind started telling me that I might as well wait for next Monday to start over with The Drastic since I've blown this week already.

And today, we learned we have fleas in the house which came from the apartment (our tenant just moved out and left the apartment infested with his cats fleas -- DB is highly allergic and they bite him like crazy, but they don't bite me at all so it took us a few days to figure this out). DB, of course, has now left for Nearby Town to take care of his mom for 10 days so I'm left to deal with how to get fleas out of our house (Doglet is fine -- I Advantage him every month and have never had a problem in the 10 years I've had him). I'm yucked out about having fleas in our house...YUCK...and am not sure how to get rid of them since I've never had an infestation for close to 15 years.

And, did I mention that I still have a cough and sore throat and super-stress at work? Yup. Addict's Mind is now telling me that I might as well skip the gym tonight and go home and watch Baby Mama with a salad (good) and beer (bad).

My pants are tight. I feel too jiggly. I have to get a grip. Maybe today...


Cindy...154 said...

I feel your pain. I have been in that space before. Get Frontline on Doglet and it should get rid of the fleas in your house, if you get the super egg killing kind. If they are real bad, I'd call for a professional exterminator if you can swing the money. Fleas are horrid. I am so sorry. I just bought the Crack Diet book that Laura has been using. It is my new drastic. I start tomorrow. Sorry you are feeling bad but you will get better, and get back on your Drastic. It is hard to do anything when sick. And stressed...As Vickie would say.."Hugs"

Vickie said...
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Vickie said...

deletes were all me - typos and fragmented thoughts were really bothering me - I think it might be my breathing - I left a phone message yesterday that was the same way - stuttering and making no sense.

FLEAS first - husband's fraternity was accidentally infested by ONE stray cat that found a hide-y hole and had kittens in an outside part of the house (that was internally connected to the basement).

Fleas started in one room in the basement and then spread to the rest of the basement and then to the first floor.

They would have kept going to 3rd floor.

Had to have professional come exterminate them.

this was a HUGE house.

One cat's fleas infected thousands of square feet.

I think you have to have a professional come and treat all 3 apartments.

Vickie said...

Being sick or having chronic problem - adds so much complexity to all of us.

I don't think we can SEE it very clearly while we are in the midst of it. But it really does add a lot of aggrevating factors.

I was thinking about this before I read your posting.

And what I was thinking was this - my redflag system doesn't work very well on its own. The flag itself is no longer bright red. The stick mechanism has some sort of mechanical problem and doesn't pop up (quickly) as it should. And stick is too short - not easily seen.


I am traveling through a field of quick sand/muck. There are parts that are much easier going than others. there are places where I am REALLY stuck. I am so busy with the quick sand and the muck - that I do not see that there are green fields allaround. the going would be so much easier on the green fields - but since I am in the hollow of the muck - I don't actually see the green fields. If I got in an airplane or helicopter and got up above it all - it would be as plain as day - but from where I am - I have little perspective.

Vickie said...


Last season on The Biggest Loser
Bob and Jillian were running up escalators - competing against each other (timed, how many flights).

Jillian is in incrediable shape - but could not run up escalators again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

Yes, she would have a tiny little rest was she rode the escalator back down to the bottom.

but it wasn't enough rest.

She could NOT just have that tiny bit of rest and then turn right around and run up one flight of (moving against her) escalator sucessfully.

And she had no physical chance doing this against BOB.

this was not her fault

She did not chose this - some producer somewhere decided it would be fun to pit one trainer against the other.

Bob has much longer legs and a different (stronger male made) muscle system.

A producer that understood bodies - would have had BOB run up TWO flights and Jillian only one - but no such brains.

You have been running up escalators for a long time now - some of it was planned - but most of it was not. Death's and other worker's vacations, leaving, illnesses, etc are out of your control.

But the end result is that you have been running up (unfair) escalators.

Vickie said...

You can't wallow in the muck. And you can't run escalators every time you sort of catch your breath.

You have to just stop right now and build a little raft to keep you out of the muck. Tide you over - so to speak.

the basics are (in my opinion)
1. sleep,
2. clean food/water,
3. then work,
4. then moderate exercise.

You have said in the past that it is easier in some ways to do this while DB is gone - take advantage of that.

In my opinion, you have to stop drinking any alcohol until you get your perspective back and get back on some type of planned schedule. And I know you know this - you have written it time and time again.

don't let this roll on until you have another round of escalator runs.

You have to get squared up as best you can with what you have to work with NOW.

Helen said...

Thanks you guys...ALL so true. :-(

I have hired Fleabusters to come early on Monday.

Feeling sicker today than yesterday so being "good" with exercise and food will continue to be a challenge. :-(

But I will overcome!!!!!!!!

Bea said...

How do you recognize/separate the Addict Mind from your mind? This enquiring mind really wants to know. I would love to be able to "see" my stinking thinking before I automatically let it lead me down the garden path.

Chicken soup. It is my answer to everything health related. I'd soak my feet in the darn stuff if Husband did not think I was weird. Rest also. Cheers.

Laura N said...

HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON. That's WAY too much going on to have much presence of mind to diet & exercise well. You have to have energy to dedicate to a healthy life style. You're in crisis mode. It's going to take all your energy to deal with that.

Things will improve. We all go through seasons like this. Hang in there!

LG said...

You might need to bomb your house for fleas even though Doglet is immune to them. It sucks.

I'm sorry that you are feeling badly and about your friend. You've had your wallowing time and now it's time for you to take care of yourself so you can take care of others. (I know, Physician, Heal Thyself!) In football terms, the ten pounds are your two minute warning. :-)

Be good to yourself and recognize that this is a lifelong battle. We'll have peaks and valleys and we're here to help you with anything.