Vickie's last comments challenged me. I have been saying for a long time how much I miss my yoga asana practice. To understand this, you have to know that I started yoga in my teens with Lilias on PBS. The only exercise I ever liked as a teen. I came back to yoga in 1999 after I had lost a lot of weight, joined a new gym, decided to try yoga again, and ultimately met a teacher who led me to the studio where I practiced for 5 years. And I practiced close to 5 days a week for those 5 years...I practiced with a myriad of different teachers with different lineages and philosophies...I practiced when I was sick...I practiced when I was sad (one of my most amazing practices was on 9/11...I went to my studio like a lot of people when to church)...I practiced after almost every long day of work...I got up early on Saturdays and Sundays to practice. And I LOVED it. Yoga became a part of me.
In August 2004, the studio where I had been practicing for 5 years closed. I was adrift. At about the same time I met DB and going to long hours of yoga practice when I could be staring into his eyes, walking hand-in-hand on the beach and generally falling in love seemed to be a better way to spend my time. And it was.
I half-heartedly searched for a new studio where I would get the breadth of theory and practice I had at my old place and every place I went was disappointing.
In mid-2006, by chance, I went to a class at the same space where my studio had been (I had been resisting going there because they are more of a strict d0-it-our-way-or-the-highway type of yoga). I cried that night in savasana. I had come home. I could still cry thinking of that moment.
Then in late 2006 I had knee surgery. My doctor told me I could be back to my yoga practice "almost immediately". This was a lie. Well, of course not totally a lie...yoga is not just the asana practice...I can (and do) practice the other arms of yoga all the time...but without asana I feel like I'm missing a limb. And I haven't been able to do asana consistently for over a year.
And the other day I read an article in Yoga Journal about how yoga is for everyone and it detailed a lot of people with a lot of physical challenges finding the ability to do asana in their lives. And today I read Vickie's comments on my last post...and she is right. I know so much about yoga that I could totally make a list of what I can do right now and what I can't. (Not to say that I will never be able to do them again, because I will...if I PRACTICE.) In the midst of my discombobulated day of work stress, holiday stress, DB hurting stress, I have been thinking about this a lot. I wanted to sit down and write this list ALL DAY. And I had no time. But I will do it. And I will do it here where I can go back and look at it and...grow.
Last night while working with DB on manipulations of his very painful and hard-to-move shoulder, I tried to help him do yoga breaths. I tried to have him breathe into the movements. I was reminded of how I can apply my yoga practice not only to MY everyday life but to others' because I FELT the difference his breathing properly made in his ability to move through the pain. I'm not sure he felt it...but I did.
And then this morning, Vickie's comments. I hear the message. Now I just have to find the time to act.
Speaking of messages...I had a Christmas miracle happen tonight. Yesterday I went to make coffee and my coffee scoop which came with our coffee maker that DB bought for me last Xmas was missing. I felt my stomach sink...DB had made the coffee the day before. I went to ask him..."where's the coffee scoop, honey?". "I threw it away...it was in the tin and I thought it came with the coffee." ARGH. I promptly found him the link to a place where he could get me a silver-plated monogrammed coffee scoop for my stocking. Then tonight when I came home our discarded coffee tin was on the top of our garbage can in the alley. I said to DB, "did you take that out?". "No.". I went over to it...and there was our scoop sitting outside the can on top of the garbage can!!!!!! There is no logical explanation for this except that the universe (a/k/a Santa) is kind.