Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Challenged

Vickie's last comments challenged me. I have been saying for a long time how much I miss my yoga asana practice. To understand this, you have to know that I started yoga in my teens with Lilias on PBS. The only exercise I ever liked as a teen. I came back to yoga in 1999 after I had lost a lot of weight, joined a new gym, decided to try yoga again, and ultimately met a teacher who led me to the studio where I practiced for 5 years. And I practiced close to 5 days a week for those 5 years...I practiced with a myriad of different teachers with different lineages and philosophies...I practiced when I was sick...I practiced when I was sad (one of my most amazing practices was on 9/11...I went to my studio like a lot of people when to church)...I practiced after almost every long day of work...I got up early on Saturdays and Sundays to practice. And I LOVED it. Yoga became a part of me.

In August 2004, the studio where I had been practicing for 5 years closed. I was adrift. At about the same time I met DB and going to long hours of yoga practice when I could be staring into his eyes, walking hand-in-hand on the beach and generally falling in love seemed to be a better way to spend my time. And it was.

I half-heartedly searched for a new studio where I would get the breadth of theory and practice I had at my old place and every place I went was disappointing.

In mid-2006, by chance, I went to a class at the same space where my studio had been (I had been resisting going there because they are more of a strict d0-it-our-way-or-the-highway type of yoga). I cried that night in savasana. I had come home. I could still cry thinking of that moment.

Then in late 2006 I had knee surgery. My doctor told me I could be back to my yoga practice "almost immediately". This was a lie. Well, of course not totally a lie...yoga is not just the asana practice...I can (and do) practice the other arms of yoga all the time...but without asana I feel like I'm missing a limb. And I haven't been able to do asana consistently for over a year.

And the other day I read an article in Yoga Journal about how yoga is for everyone and it detailed a lot of people with a lot of physical challenges finding the ability to do asana in their lives. And today I read Vickie's comments on my last post...and she is right. I know so much about yoga that I could totally make a list of what I can do right now and what I can't. (Not to say that I will never be able to do them again, because I will...if I PRACTICE.) In the midst of my discombobulated day of work stress, holiday stress, DB hurting stress, I have been thinking about this a lot. I wanted to sit down and write this list ALL DAY. And I had no time. But I will do it. And I will do it here where I can go back and look at it and...grow.

Last night while working with DB on manipulations of his very painful and hard-to-move shoulder, I tried to help him do yoga breaths. I tried to have him breathe into the movements. I was reminded of how I can apply my yoga practice not only to MY everyday life but to others' because I FELT the difference his breathing properly made in his ability to move through the pain. I'm not sure he felt it...but I did.

And then this morning, Vickie's comments. I hear the message. Now I just have to find the time to act.

Speaking of messages...I had a Christmas miracle happen tonight. Yesterday I went to make coffee and my coffee scoop which came with our coffee maker that DB bought for me last Xmas was missing. I felt my stomach sink...DB had made the coffee the day before. I went to ask him..."where's the coffee scoop, honey?". "I threw it away...it was in the tin and I thought it came with the coffee." ARGH. I promptly found him the link to a place where he could get me a silver-plated monogrammed coffee scoop for my stocking. Then tonight when I came home our discarded coffee tin was on the top of our garbage can in the alley. I said to DB, "did you take that out?". "No.". I went over to it...and there was our scoop sitting outside the can on top of the garbage can!!!!!! There is no logical explanation for this except that the universe (a/k/a Santa) is kind.

2 comments:

Vickie said...

I did think of a way to incorporate dog dog into flow - by walking your hands out (to get down on the mat) and then walking your hands back toward you and curling up. We used to do this with Kate all the time - when there were a lot of people in the room that were new and couldn't get up the traditional ways. And actually that hands thing feels very good on the back - because it is a nice walk out and then a very nice roll up.

Lori said...

That's so odd and wonderful about your coffee scoop. I hope you have some free time during the holidays to look for a yoga studio for you. You really do sound like you miss it keenly. Tell DB to feel better.