I was talking with a friend yesterday and I said "you know, in the universe of people's body sizes, I don't really think I'm fat, there are just parts of my body that are fat". LOL, but this is true. There are at least a few parts of my body that I think are just fine. I won't list them today because unfortunately, my weight is up a little bit. Less than a pound and it is no surprise with only two perfect food days and several "special" food days this week. I'm not feeling awful but am, once again, re-evaluating.
I also realize that virtually EVERYTHING in my life is fantastic except my weight. I have a fantastic partner, fantastic friends and family, fantastic job, fantastic house, fantastic fun life. Seriously. There is not a single other thing in my life that I think is bad. I am lucky. So I will try not to whine too much...
Past few days have been preoccupied with the fires. Yes, Nearby Town = Santa Barbara and the fires were within 100 feet of DB's family house last night. Everyone was already evacuated, so we don't know for sure what happened, but the fire burned down the canyon past the house and there was a fire truck in their driveway this morning when one of the family managed to walk up the road to see what was what. We suspect that the fire fighters worked all night to save the house (and houses of neighbors). There is still another unburned canyon on the other side of the house so it's not out of the woods yet but the last news we had this morning is that the fire personnel have left so they must think all is ok for now.
The fires are so sad. I love Santa Barbara. If I could live anywhere on earth that is where I would pick. It is so beautiful. But the beauty also makes it dangerous.
Please send good thoughts for less wind, cooler temps and no more houses burned.
4 comments:
I think we could make May into Body Acceptance Month. I liked this post. I am sad for the fires and hope the houses are saved. I was struck by the last phrase in your post - the beauty also makes it dangerous...
Hi Helen: I'm catching up on all your May posts (so, so, so, behind) and congratulations on the skinny jeans!
I loved your Gardening post. I'm not much of a gardener (snakes, lizards, snakes, lizards)and I hope you don't meet any of those "garden" creatures.
And lastly, your post about DB was so romantic and sweet. Though I experienced a horrific relationship, I still believe in romance and enjoy reading about others successful relationships.
I had to think about your first paragraph for several days.
First - ( a while back, before you posted this) I wrote a long post - which I deleted - about fat pockets. I thought it would bother most people and only had real meaning for me. So, once I got it all out - writing - I never posted it. (And if this comment bothers you - just delete it and forget it - you will not hurt my feelings.)
I too do not consider myself fat - but am still dealing with/facing assorted fat pockets.
I finally got the courage to start asking people that do NOT have any fat pockets how tall they are - how old they are and how tall they are. And then I go home and look them up on this site:
http://www.halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm
I am in the high end of the normal range for BMI. And I HAVE fat pockets - not a lot - but I do have excess fat.
What I am discovering is the people out and about that I ask - that have NO fat - are in the lower end of BMI for their height and age.
This was not upsetting to me - it is valuable information.
So no amount of tone is going to dislodge them - tone will help - but if I want them ALL gone - then I have to move down into that lower end. That is not to say that I will - or that I even want to - and this is not upsetting to me - it is like I just wanted to KNOW.
I loved what you wrote about the fires - I am glad that you mentioned it is near DB's family home - when I hear the news - I just think California - and do not think WHERE - or how close to you.
And I also realized that it is good you are open to and appreciate fantastic parts of your life. You are able to accept and enjoy them. (and it made me realize that I would slide away from them - not to say that is good or bad - just factual - I try just as hard to stay away from '10' as I do '0' - and I thought that was very interesting - hadn't thought of it that way before your posting)
I'm just like you are, Helen. I'm not fat, but I have those pockets of fat that are never going to go completely away. They might get smaller if I lose 10-20 pounds, but they will still be there. I know that for a fact because they were very much still there when I weighed 146, & if I'd gotten to 135 or 130, I'd have looked too thin & I bet the fat pockets would still be there anyway.
It's a big reason I wrote what I did last Friday. I'm just done with obsessing about it.
Doesn't mean I'm done working on improving my body though. I still want to look good & feel good. I'm just going to look good & feel good with saddle bags & a belly pooch.
So glad the fires didn't get the family house. I can't imagine how scary that is.
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