First off, I am wearing "skinny" jeans today that I haven't even dared to try on since January. They are tight, but not too uncomfortable. When I realized they fit, I actually didn't care too much that I gained 0.4 pounds this week. That was a miracle in itself with all the socializing that happened this week. I've maintained in the same neighborhood for the last 3 weeks and need to move down starting NOW! I've got a few months before St. John and at least 10 pounds to lose.
I was thinking about hunger last night and how I react to it. I feel very very uncomfortable with hunger. It makes me feel sick, anxious, angry almost. I realized this as I drove to the gym last night...I was very hungry...I had been perfect all day...I watched my reactions. I felt like I wasn't going to make it through the workout without food. If I would have had some available, I would have eaten (this is one reason I don't generally keep food easily available in places like my car). I was thinking about this reaction to hunger...how it obsesses me until it is fed...and I felt almost angry. I felt angry that I had to think about all this. I felt angry that I couldn't just eat any old thing any old time like I perceive other people do. I felt angry that I have to deal with my issues about this!! Grrrrrrrr
But, miracle of miracles, as I knew would happen, I forgot about hunger at the gym. I remembered when I left the gym, but the hunger wasn't as nagging. I went home, had my usual salad then popsicle and that was it. I can do it, but it's a struggle. I hate that it's a struggle.