It's the third anniversary of my and DB's first date and we're all about CELEBRATING!! First a few reminiscences about 2004 (excuses to those who may have heard this before):
Earlier that year, I had had my house feng shui'd and one of my goals in changing the energy was to find a GOOD relationship. Soon after that, a feral cat had kittens in my back garden and I started on a few months' project of trapping, fixing and releasing the feral cats that seemed to be breeding all over our neighborhood.
In July I went back to NYC to help my sister and her family move. When I came back home, I was feeling pretty low. I had had a sad/bad break-up with a woman who I thought was a good friend and I realized that a GOOD relationship hadn't quite showed up in my life yet. At almost exactly the time that I was thinking I should call my feng shui consultant and get her to help, she called me, asking how I was! I told her that maybe I should have specified in our earlier consultations that I wanted a GOOD relationship with a MAN...I had had a plethora of cats, you see! She immediately said she knew what to do and we set an appointment for her to come over on Sunday, July 18...at which time she did some stuff with a fountain in my bedroom and left with a "good luck" wish.
Monday, July 19...I decided it was time to start checking out match again...I had been off for several months because I tended to get tired from it after a week or two at a time. And there I saw a man...he was handsome, he seemed clever, he was tall enough, he was the right age range and he lived close by (geographical desirability is not a small thing in this sprawling metropolis!). So...I winked (which was free). (July 19 is now our Winkaversary.)
DB responded quickly (that day or the next, this part is kind of fuzzy) with a short and extremely clever e-mail. I had to pay to respond and I did. ;-) Somehow my response went into DB's junk folder and he only found it by looking on match and seeing that I had sent a reply. Whew, that was close!
We proceeded to talk on the phone (I'm a big proponent of not too many clever e-mails before talking and then meeting) on July 21 (Talkaversary?) and set a date for that Friday, July 23. Over the next couple of days we had several fun e-mail exchanges -- mostly about where we were going for dinner (sushi). Thursday evening, I even saw him walking down the street on my way home from yoga, "Hey, I think that's the guy I'm supposed to meet tomorrow night...he looks like he's a little wacky...could be good!" But I didn't really have any expectations...I knew better.
We met Friday at 8. He had walked over to the restaurant and was there first. He had brought sake because he knew they didn't have a liquor license and usually let you drink what you brought. Not that night! So we left the sake in the bag and had our first hour or two totally sober while we had sushi. I remember thinking that I must not be attracted to him because I was so comfortable -- I even, while talking about both of our bad back issues, talked about keeping my belly muscles strong "under all this fat, I actually have really strong muscles" or something like that! I couldn't imagine ever mentioning the f-word to someone to whom I was attracted.
We talked about our lives. He told me about his daughters and granddaughters. He told me about his marriages and finally confessed that his age on-line was slightly younger than real life (he must not have been used to dating women who could do math -- while he was very young when he had his kids, the math I was doing in my head would have made him about 18 with the first one!). I liked him.
After we ate, we went for a walk on the beach and cracked open the sake. We drank from the bottle as we strolled. We started to learn about each other -- neither of us wanted (more) kids, we both had a very "life is fun" outlook, he showed me his romantic/poetic side by talking about the shine the moon made on the ocean. We stood in silence and just looked at that for what seemed like the longest times. We were comfortable in our silences. At some point, he turned to me and asked "can I kiss you?". I honestly don't think any man had ever asked that of me before. My answer is probably obvious to you now! :-)
Lots of very fun smooching and more talking ensued...and ensued and ensued for the next three years. :-) Magic.
These years have been some of the happiest of my life...I feel like I waited for a long time for such a GREAT relationship with such a GREAT man...and both DB and I did a lot of work to get where we are today...both together and individually. Mostly what we have is fun. Mostly what I have is a man who is perfect for me beyond my wildest dreams...a partner, a friend, a lover, a playmate. I work every day to try to give him the love and joy he gives to me.
No words are powerful enough to express my love and appreciation for this man. But the ones that I always use to try are:
I love you, sweet-heart.