Thursday, January 20, 2011


Part of my intake process at the new gym was filling out a pretty extensive questionnaire about goals, lifestyle, etc. I didn't take it too seriously at the time but there was a list of things you want to improve and you were supposed to rank them in order of importance. I made almost all of them equal (lose weight, get fitter, tone, relieve stress, etc.). But, as I reflected over the past week, the truth is that what I really want is to feel fit again.

The scale IS important to me. It is an outside objective observer. Only it's not really. At my new gym, there are women who I am sure weigh a lot more than me...but they are large and HARD. They are hugely muscley and probably what everyone would call FIT. Now, being at THE muscle-builder gym of the universe, they are NOT what I am working toward. But they do show me that the scale, while VERY important, is not ALL.

Maybe I'm just saying all this to myself to make myself feel better that, while I've had little 2-pound-down fluctuations, the scale goes back up and I have not lost any weight since starting to work out again almost two weeks ago. I am still perplexed by this - how can I be working out SO much more, eating the same and having the scale stay the same? I don't know.

What I do know, though, is that I want to keep working toward FIT. I remember feeling STRONG in my body. I want to feel that way again...whatever the scale says. trainer kicked my butt tonight...almost literally!! I have never worked with a trainer before...because, as I said before, I wanted to WORK while at the gym, not chat. Well, my friends, tonight my little 2% body weight trainer showed me that you can talk AND work HARD. There got to be a point where I literally couldn't lift my leg. The things we did were simple, but (I hope) effective. She gets it that my weight goes in my middle -- from upper leg through lower belly. I don't gain substantially elsewhere. So we worked that area...a LOT. I think I will be good-sore tomorrow. While we did work legs, my knees tonight are feeling ok. Hopefully the quad work helped and didn't hurt.

But there is another little story as I chatted with my trainer -- this girl has won competitions for fitness -- she told me that, if she doesn't wake up sore, she wonders what she did wrong the previous day. Yes, you know what's next. She's into addictive exercise behavior. She told me tonight she's ready to be a mom...I wonder how she will handle those body changes. She is really a sweetheart and I will learn stuff from her, but I do worry about that. She looks great and is fit but she is as weird about her body (in another way) as We are.

I'm excited about a new exercise adventure. And I just want to be FIT, dammit.


Vickie said...

I identify with this. I am much more interested in how my pants fit, than the number on the scale. But having said that, since the number on the scale says exactly what size my middle is, the two go hand in hand. One extra pound - and my waist band fits different.

sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I did have to change my food and my exercise at the same time to drop my last 20lbs. It was not enough to add cardio and leave everything else the same.

I have had two people ask me if I was excessive about exercise in the last week. Neither one was a weight loss/maintenance person. Both had some extra weight, but not huge. I simply say - I am a weight loss/maintenance person and what we have to do is not the same as the general public (I don't even get into what the general public LOOKS LIKE) and I explain - right now I have two PUSH days where I work to muscle fatigue and then rest the next day. (I think they hear my schedule for those two days and think I am doing that 5 days a week.)

Cindy...154 said...

I admire you so much for going to the gym and working with a trainer. I worked with one once and she kicked my butt as you say. I didn't have it in me to go back and I could not afford her. I was 200 pounds at the time. I keep having that frustrating two pound deal myself but I am not working out but eating less. And, like Vickie, I believe now it is my middle getting the weight. I believe now that my body has changed just in the almost three years since I got to the lowest weight and I am going to have to employe new and more dedicasted strategies. Both a new food strategy and exercise. I used to want to do these things and felt motivated. Now I am going to have to do them whether I feel motivate or not. You are inspiring me back to the gym...thanks

sharla said...

Thought about you today, while I was in my yoga class!

Just wanted to say Hi!