Bad weigh-in

I weigh exactly what I did two weeks ago. Not good. I know why, pretty much, but it's odd because in the past 6 days I have only missed going to the gym once. But it's the beer (only missed that once too, I think) and maybe prior weekend catching up. I have been very very good with food though so hope next week to get a grip.

I am dressed as Ginger today...my head is throbbing because I bought a queen-size knee-hi to cram my hair into under the wig and it's cutting off my circulation, I think. It's also very hard to type in elbow-length gloves. But I look great...LOL

Happy Halloween everyone!!

"Bad" sugar

I noticed something yesterday and it got me thinking about sugar...the sweet kind, not the carb-kind that can come from my more favorite salty foods and I want to just write a note to myself here to actually NOTICE it.

Yesterday afternoon I was hungry. Very hungry. I could have had a 100-calorie bag of popcorn, but instead I thought it was better to have a mini-Tootsie pop (only 17 or so calories and no fat). So I had one. Then I really REALLY wanted another one. Why not? Only 17 calories! So I had another. Then I really really REALLY wanted another one. So I had it. And I was up to my "serving" of three for 50 calories. Not too bad calorie-wise because I was still less than the 100-calorie popcorn. BUT...it was NOT satisfying. I felt a HUGE sugar-crash as it (very soon) wore off. And I was incredibly unusually hungry headed to the gym last night. I was literally UNCOMFORTABLE with hunger (and that rarely happens)...so much so that I nearly went somewhere to grab some food on the way. But I talked myself out of it and didn't. (Once I get to the gym, any hunger always goes away for the time I'm there.)

Anyway, I thought a lot about this...this sugar-crash thing happens fairly often when I have really REALLY bad sugar that has NO redeeming nutritional value (like the mini-Tootsie pops). I even have this reaction (wanting more, feeling less satisfied) when I eat my low-fat meringues at home. But I don't have it (or at least not as noticeably) when I eat my post-dinner popsicles. I wonder if there is actually SOMETHING good in there (like fruit maybe?) and that makes my body react differently. I also wonder if my body is trying to tell me something...like "PAY ATTENTION, this is NOT good for us!!!!"

Hmmmm...ya think? ;-)

More

Not a lot to say this week...except that I still am thinking about my love affair with MORE. It flows over into everything...I even realized that I want MORE when I cuddle with DB in the morning!! I love MORE, but I think I may need to investigate a closer relationship with ENOUGH or even, gasp!, LESS. ;-)

I managed to go to the gym both days last weekend AND Monday and will go tonight and tomorrow too (PD's birthday bash was pushed back to Saturday so all my gym-juggling only resulted in me having MORE time to go!).

I am going to dress as Ginger on Gilligan's Island for work on Friday -- several of us are going as all the characters. I got a slammin' red wig and sequiny dress to wear (along with false eyelashes, etc.). The wig is a kind of beehive so I might look more like Kate Pierson from B-52s than Ginger, but it will be fun! ;-)

Wow, two posts in one day or Wonder

"Wonder" is the title I really feel here...

Tonight I saw a rocket blast off and fly across the sky (a satellite for the Italians which was launched from California)!! DB told me about it and Doglet and I walked to the beach to watch and WOW. We saw this amazing fire come over the Malibu mountain and streak through the sky. Almost no one down at the beach with me was aware of this wonder...but I was. Because my DB told me to LOOK. :-)

And that's the next part...DB helps me SEE things that I, alone, maybe would not see. This is just one tiny example. He ROCKS.

I sure love Fridays when the scale is kind!

Down about 2.5 pounds this week...this is very very happy news after my beer and junk food fiesta of last weekend. But I did really crack down this week and I am absolutely SURE that getting back to very very regular exercise is the key. The KEY. So I will be getting even more fascist about that...NO excuses for missing regular gym schedule. For example, next Thursday is the birthday of one of the PDs. Thursday is a regular gym night. Sooo...I am rescheduling the whole week to work around it!! I even am going to the gym on Wednesday before a previously-scheduled dinner with a friend of DB's. It is SO IMPORTANT to me to make this exercise commitment. Not only does the scale go down, but my knees are demonstrably WORSE when I miss my weight (and probably elliptical) work. Like Vickie, I want to be popping up off that toilet when I'm in my 90s!!! ;-)

I am still not to my lowest weight (from June)...I have about 5 pounds to go to get there. Then I can go beyond. Yes, now is the time to admit that at my worst (after Burning Man, post-BM guest, etc.) my weight was up 10 pounds from my absolute lowest (which was a one-week brief shining moment, but you know that's in the back of my head as where I should be!). Since even at that "high" point I was still almost 20 pounds down from February, I have tried not to stress too much about it and that seems to be working. Stress "makes me" eat and drink (I put that in quotes because nothing really MAKES ME do it...I just tend to do it). And, with so much negative stuff happening in the world right now, additional stress is exactly what I don't need. Not stressing TOO much over the re-gain has been helpful. And I am being successful in getting back on track. This makes me feel good = anti-stress! :-)

DB is home tomorrow (yay!). With all the world-stress going on, I've been having uncharacteristic nightmares this week and no one there to comfort me when I wake up. I try to tell myself that I lived for A LOT of my life without that kind of support and I was FINE, but I have gotten used to my sweetheart and I LIKE IT. ;-)

I have a jam-packed day tomorrow: hair trim, Doglet nail trim, gym, birthday shopping (for PD and a friend and my mom), then b-day dinner with a friend and her hubby. Sunday, in addition to gym (or, if I'm lucky, yoga -- my arm is still hurt so I've been reluctant to go back), I'm not sure what's on tap...hopefully a little R&R. :-)

Happy weekend!

The desert is great for a cold...

...and not so great for watching what I eat!!! My cold virtually disappeared out in the dryness of the desert over the weekend...and came back (less bad though) when we got back on Sunday. But despite taking a lot of healthy food, I managed to overeat due to the kindness and generosity of our fellow Burner-campers. Oh well...maybe some of that was worked off by putting up and taking down our tent...right? ;-)

The weekend was a blast -- in some ways more fun than actual Burning Man! Only a 3-hour drive instead of 12, only 2 days instead of 8, only a tent to set up instead of a whole camp, only 400 people instead of 50,000, etc. Much EASIER, I guess I meant to say. And we camped with a great group of people...so warm and inviting and so many fun chats and stories. PLUS I got to actually read my Twilight book (I'm about half-way through the third one now). All in all a great weekend (except the part where DB left on Sunday night for his week in Nearby Town). :-)

Back on the wagon this week and thinking a lot about how I relate to everything in a non-moderate way. This is not a revelation, but just something I'm thinking about for the umpteenth time. I am trying to figure out if I can be happy with abstinence from certain things (like "you can never eat/drink [blank] again") like I am with abstinence from smoking. I wonder this because there are just certain things where my mind says "if one is good, ten is better and it makes me HAPPY". Eeek...if that's not an addictive personality, I don't know what is. I have thought several times in the past that I have come to terms with this very issue/question, but it continues to rear it's ugly head and say "not so fast!". Still more to learn here, I guess...

At least my body is feeling good and sore after the gym last night...like Cindy, I love that feeling. :-)

Not bad!

The weigh-in today was a pleasant surprise. At first I thought I had actually maintained, but after I checked my records I see that I am up a little over a pound from two weeks ago and just a hair less than three weeks ago. A pound doesn't seem too bad to me after the Hoosier Food Orgy (which I will not detail at the risk of descending into food porn, but there was plenty of stuff I nearly never eat: fried food, frozen dairy products, fermented hops products...)

I am still fighting a cold and today it feels like it's winning. Unfortunately, tonight we're driving over three hours to a desert camping expedition with fellow Burners. Normally I would spend the weekend in bed, but this is a once-a-year thing and we've been planning to go for a long time so I'm going to suck it up and try to REST tomorrow...maybe just lie in my tent and read. We'll see. Right now, all I want to do it go to bed. :-(

After this weekend we should be HOME until late January and I am so happy about that...the travelling the past few months has wreaked havoc with my schedule that helps me maintain my good habits. I am anxious to get back to in in earnest.

Wishing everyone a great weekend!

Way too busy

And still no time to complete the story of my trip...we're leaving again tomorrow night for a weekend camping trip!!! A Burner thing in the desert. I am still pooped from the trip, fighting a cold (again) and we had a big industry charity event last night where I ate very little (good) and drank too much (bad) so feel kinda yucko today. :-( AND I also feel very fat. Didn't weigh in last Friday because we were in Indiana so this week it could (and probably will) be ugly (particularly due to my apparent need to eat EVERYTHING I ate in my childhood in 4 days). But I'll get on the scale and see the horror. Gotta stay accountable.

Maybe I'll have time to write my blog when we get home...or, if we have connectivity, in the desert.

I need a vacation where I do NOTHING. For a month. ;-)

We're home!

Had a fantastic trip and will type the whole story when I have time, but I know you all are most anxious to see photos of me and V so here we are!! Aren't we cute? :-)

This seems an appropriate time to give my huge props to my dear friend, Vickie, for introducing me to this wonderful world of blogs and to so many of you wonderful people. THANK YOU, VICKIE!! :-)

Hoosier salad

We're heeeeeere! ;-)

Did the whole family tour: all three houses where I lived, my elementary school, my high school, the hospital where I was born, the church where my parents met and married and various other memory-inducing spots. We went to the grocery store where I would go buy beer as a teenager...I had a system to not get carded. ;-) We bought beer there and I felt like I had to get out of there quick...just like back then!).

Tonight we're staying at a beautiful hotel in the Union Station in Indianapolis and we're staying in an old restored Pullman railway car!!! It's fantastic!!! :-)

The only thing that's NOT fantastic is that DB is sick...so tonight we're in the hotel room trying hard to get him healthy and trying for me not to get sick.

OK, yeah, salad: I thought I'd be a good girl and order salad for dinner tonight. Of course, the healthiest salad at the restaurant had steak and blue cheese dressing (luckily on the side). I didn't do too badly with that. BUT I realized why I never was a big salad fan as a child: the only lettuce here seems to be iceberg! And my salad had just a TON of that, the steak, a few pieces of tomato and a few pieces of cucumber. For a girl who makes a nightly salad of at least 6 veggies, this was kind of disappointing...particularly for $14.99!! ;-)

My highlight of the day? As we landed at the airport (not too bumpy a ride, but I think I'm actually getting to be a WORSE flyer than before...I HATE IT), we saw...THE OBAMA PLANE!!!! Yes, he was just leaving after a huge rally here. It's amazing to me to see Obama lawn signs...when I was growing up here, you'd NEVER see a Democrat lawn sign. I'm very bummed I missed him: the candidates ignore California pretty much because they figure we're a foregone Democrat conclusion. :-(

More the next time we have connectivity...which may be in several days because we're headed out to the country tomorrow.

It's very good to be here. :-)

Smiling thinking of Indiana

I love that I grew up in Indiana. I can't wait to see it again. But I'm afraid I won't know where anything is!!! I haven't been there in sooo long...so it will be an adventure. The last time I was there my mom lived there (she's lived out here for nearly 10 years), I didn't own a cell phone, my life was oh-so-different.

Our time there is crammed with stuff/people to see. This will not be a relaxing vacation really...but 400 miles in 4 days is nothing for an Angeleno! ;-)

Anyway, I can't wait...and, on the subject of weight, I will try to find good, healthy food. Last time I was there, that was pretty non-existent!! I remember going to a pitch-in with my mom where the "vegetables" were baked beans, mac and cheese and mashed potatoes! I am hoping that green vegetables might be on SOME menus... ;-)

Here I come, Indiana!!!

Down, down, DOWN!

Like the stock market, my weight is down. Unlike the stock market, I am happily surprised with the news on the scale this morning. This means I've put together two weeks of downturn and that is a relief...particularly since I haven't been perfect this week...I guess I was perfect enough. While I weigh more than my lowest, I'm getting back there...and beyond.

I also got my CRACK book yesterday -- about time!!! -- along with two more Twilight novels (I'm hooked). The CRACK book looks very interesting...can't wait to read it and try out some of the principles as I keep the weight moving downward. :-)

This is all extra-good because it gives me a boost in the confidence/determination department and I'm going to need that next week. To paraphrase the great Jackson 5: "We are going back to Indiana, Indiana here we come 'cause that is where I started from!" :-) And Indiana is where I learned to eat BADLY. The Midwest is much more challenging to me to eat well than California. That's just a fact.

Anyway...we leave on Wednesday morning and will be in Indiana for a short four days (back very early the next Monday morning). I am taking DB to see where I'm from -- the houses where I grew up and the schools I went to, a festival we used to attend every autumn when I was growing up, my Northern Indiana family and (yes!) my dear college friend who is one of our fellow bloggers. :-) Maybe, if we're lucky, we'll also get to see my French little brother who will also be visiting Indiana next week (I haven't seen him in about 7 years because we missed him when we were in France two years ago!). I haven't been back to Indiana in 10 years...it will be strange. It's where I'm from, but it's not "home" anymore. It's funny, but I realized that DB met my French family (family I stayed with for the summer when I was 16 -- THIRTY years ago, yikes!) before my Indiana family (my dad's side of the family). He hasn't met my mom's side of the family at all...that tells you how close I am to my actual blood relatives beyond my immediate family!! ;-)

Tomorrow we have post-Burning Man "decompression" in L.A. A party/event that runs from noon to midnight. DB is setting up some of our BM stuff so we'll be going very early tomorrow morning to get that done. I'll be in and out during the rest of the day before we pack up to leave that night.

Sunday I'm hoping to REST and maybe get to see the PDs and grandkids...it's been a long, rough week and we're going to be away the next two weekends. I am going to be glad when our next trips are over and we plan to stay home until our skiing trip at the end of January (we're headed to Tahoe again this year). :-)

Onward and downward!

Feelin' poochy

OK, so I had one perfectly good day this week and will have another (including gym) today. I am certain that will not make up for the other days when I was not perfect. The pants I have on today which, over the late spring and summer were loose, are tighter. And it's PMS time so I am dreading getting on the scale tomorrow for all sorts of reasons. But I will do it.

Where is that darn "Crack" book I ordered?! ;-)

Too much

This week is full of too many too muches:

- Too much stress over this crazy economy and dire doomsday predictions of all manner of catastrophe (not just economic) on its way.

- Too much time off from work (No! Is there such a thing?!): our office was closed yesterday for Rosh Hashanah, so Monday was a Friday/Saturday night and yesterday was a Sunday.

- Too much eating and drinking. (No excuse for that, but Addict's Mind is not quiet this week.)

- Too much to do and too little time both at home and work.

At least I've also gotten a lot of exercise (worked on some home stuff yesterday and then took a walk on the beach after sunset -- it was hotter yesterday than practically all summer and today is more of the same). I just MIGHT be able to do a maintain this week if I buckle down for the next two days. A loss is probably out of the question, but a girl always hopes... ;-)