...I'm up over 2 pounds this week. I think I need to realize somehow that what I'm doing is just "maintaining". I'm not sure how that's possible since (while far from perfect) I've cut back so much and am exercising so much more than I was in January. It's very frustrating.
And I've been trying all the things my doc suggested for the constipation (warm prunes, stool softener, oatmeal for breakfast) and nothing is working yet.
I guess maybe I just don't WANT this enough yet. I feel gypped that I am doing what I did 13 years ago to lose weight and it's not working this time (of course, I have less to lose this time). It's gotta be hormonal...speaking of which, I'm PMSing right now too. Oh fun.
Anyway...I'm going to try to moderate a little more on the booze this weekend and see if that helps...losing during the week and gaining it all back on the weekend seems not to be working!
On this topic, here's a little story that I got by e-mail from my mom the other day that spoke to me and this journey/struggle:
Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.
Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.
"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"
My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother." "Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.
"But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."
"Carolyn," I said sternly, "Please turn around." "It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this>>>experience."
After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, "Daffodil Garden." We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.
It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.
"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn. "Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.
On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."
For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.
That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world .
"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"
My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.
She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"
Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting.....Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die...
Friday, April 13, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Real estate
Well, DB came to his senses on the house (although he still wishes he felt more "passionate" about it, he realizes it's the best one we've seen and location location location is perfect). Yippee!! :-)
Now we are trying to find out if the current owner will induce (that's a nice way to say "pay off") the current tenants to leave voluntarily. If we have to evict them, it would have to be after we close on the property and (thank you, LA housing laws) give them 120 days notice AND about $3600 each (we need to clear out the two remaining units which are occupied because that would be our living and office/studio space).
We need the current guy to do this because it would be very hard to swing the mortgage on this new place and my mortgage for over 4 months while the eviction process played out...and we have reason to believe that one of the tenants would not be cooperative so it might even be longer than 4 months.
Since our offer would be contingent on this, it is good incentive for the seller to pay these people off (more than the $3600) to get them to leave voluntarily. Because he is a little "overextended" on his real estate investments (and he's a professional landlord, unlike us), we are hopeful that he will undertake the hard work of getting these folks to move. If not, I think we're back to square one and this property is out...at least for now.
And I'm fine with that. :-)
Now we are trying to find out if the current owner will induce (that's a nice way to say "pay off") the current tenants to leave voluntarily. If we have to evict them, it would have to be after we close on the property and (thank you, LA housing laws) give them 120 days notice AND about $3600 each (we need to clear out the two remaining units which are occupied because that would be our living and office/studio space).
We need the current guy to do this because it would be very hard to swing the mortgage on this new place and my mortgage for over 4 months while the eviction process played out...and we have reason to believe that one of the tenants would not be cooperative so it might even be longer than 4 months.
Since our offer would be contingent on this, it is good incentive for the seller to pay these people off (more than the $3600) to get them to leave voluntarily. Because he is a little "overextended" on his real estate investments (and he's a professional landlord, unlike us), we are hopeful that he will undertake the hard work of getting these folks to move. If not, I think we're back to square one and this property is out...at least for now.
And I'm fine with that. :-)
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Annual Physical
I had my annual physical this morning. It went well. The first thing he asked me was for "the good news". I really had to think about that because I was all prepared to talk about the "bad" health stuff (weight, constipation, hormones)!! I finally came up with the fact that I have now been quit smoking for 4 years. Then I remembered that I haven't been drinking during the week since January. So, two good health things.
He gave me some good ideas about what to do about the constipation (which he thinks is a factor in why I'm not really losing weight -- although I am down 7 pounds from when I was in to see him in September and my weight is not high enough that he's really worried about it from a health perspective). He agreed with my mom's idea about prunes and told me to warm them up first -- something about the laxative properties get released that way (that warmth thing is similar to something Vickie suggested so it must work!). I had some warm prunes for breakfast after the physical.
My BP was 112/70. :-)
I'm now officially 5'7" instead of 5'8".
He felt something in my throat and isn't sure if it's thyroid or remainder of that virus I just had. We'll see when blood tests come back.
I've got a prescription for a mammo so I'll need to schedule that soon.
I'm very disappointed to realize that I am only down 7 pounds since September...especially when I must have lost at least 30 in the yo-yo of the past months. :-( But, again looking for the good news, at least I am down (and even down a little bit from last year at this time -- when I wasn't weighing). I haven't looked at the scale at the doctor's office in years, but it was nice to be able to get some real perspective since he keeps the weights year-by-year. The weight I have gained back clearly starts when I quit smoking. So I try to be forgiving of myself because I know that makes me way healthier than weighing 20 or 30 pounds less.
Thanks to Vickie for the Pilates suggestion -- I ordered the DVD right away! :-)
Thing making me sad today: DB doesn't love the house we saw on Sunday like I do. To me, it's soo great, so much better than what we've seen so far, so in the exact location (location location location) that we want, so affordable, that it's hard for me to understand his lack of excitement (even though I realize it's not perfect...what is?). This is a place we could move into and not have to do anything, but have the possibility of making changes as the years go by. Plus it's got two rental units (one we would keep for his studio/office and the other we would rent to help with the mortgage). But, if he doesn't want to go ahead, I guess we won't. As I said to him earlier today, I love this property, but I love him more. I will be disappointed though.
He gave me some good ideas about what to do about the constipation (which he thinks is a factor in why I'm not really losing weight -- although I am down 7 pounds from when I was in to see him in September and my weight is not high enough that he's really worried about it from a health perspective). He agreed with my mom's idea about prunes and told me to warm them up first -- something about the laxative properties get released that way (that warmth thing is similar to something Vickie suggested so it must work!). I had some warm prunes for breakfast after the physical.
My BP was 112/70. :-)
I'm now officially 5'7" instead of 5'8".
He felt something in my throat and isn't sure if it's thyroid or remainder of that virus I just had. We'll see when blood tests come back.
I've got a prescription for a mammo so I'll need to schedule that soon.
I'm very disappointed to realize that I am only down 7 pounds since September...especially when I must have lost at least 30 in the yo-yo of the past months. :-( But, again looking for the good news, at least I am down (and even down a little bit from last year at this time -- when I wasn't weighing). I haven't looked at the scale at the doctor's office in years, but it was nice to be able to get some real perspective since he keeps the weights year-by-year. The weight I have gained back clearly starts when I quit smoking. So I try to be forgiving of myself because I know that makes me way healthier than weighing 20 or 30 pounds less.
Thanks to Vickie for the Pilates suggestion -- I ordered the DVD right away! :-)
Thing making me sad today: DB doesn't love the house we saw on Sunday like I do. To me, it's soo great, so much better than what we've seen so far, so in the exact location (location location location) that we want, so affordable, that it's hard for me to understand his lack of excitement (even though I realize it's not perfect...what is?). This is a place we could move into and not have to do anything, but have the possibility of making changes as the years go by. Plus it's got two rental units (one we would keep for his studio/office and the other we would rent to help with the mortgage). But, if he doesn't want to go ahead, I guess we won't. As I said to him earlier today, I love this property, but I love him more. I will be disappointed though.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Ugh
I ate and drank so badly this weekend. :-( I'm not going to write all the sordid details, but suffice it to say that I think it's unlikely that I'll lose my 1 pound this week...even if I am perfect until I weigh on Friday.
I think I want to try some mat Pilates -- can anyone recommend a good DVD to start with?
We saw a house yesterday that I really liked. It's actually a triplex and we would use two units (one to live in, one for DB to use for office and studio) so we'd have one unit to rent out to help with the mortgage. DB doesn't love it as much as I do, so we'll see what happens. I'm sooo ready to get this over with. I would drop the price on my house and then we could MOVE. I've got a meeting on Wednesday with a producer for Secrets That Sell (on HGTV) so you just might see me on a television near you sometimes soon!
I think I want to try some mat Pilates -- can anyone recommend a good DVD to start with?
We saw a house yesterday that I really liked. It's actually a triplex and we would use two units (one to live in, one for DB to use for office and studio) so we'd have one unit to rent out to help with the mortgage. DB doesn't love it as much as I do, so we'll see what happens. I'm sooo ready to get this over with. I would drop the price on my house and then we could MOVE. I've got a meeting on Wednesday with a producer for Secrets That Sell (on HGTV) so you just might see me on a television near you sometimes soon!
Friday, April 6, 2007
Down 0.8
It's been a slow week for blogging for me...the mid-night extravaganza on Monday threw me off a bit.
So today I'm down 0.8. I have a kind of a pact with an on-line friend that we will shoot for just ONE POUND a week until June and see what happens. ONE POUND a week seems so little (I can fluctuate that much during a bathroom break!), but it is a lot more than I have been able to average over the past months since October. This friend has helped support me with the WOW program and I'm hopeful that this new idea of hers will also inspire me.
On the WOW tip, I am shocked that my stopping drinking on weekdays has not resulted in continuing and constant weight loss. I was drinking every night for a looooong time and I thought this would really shake things up calorie-wise if nothing else. And I have been VERY good about sticking with the program...while I haven't seen an impact in my weight, I definitely FEEL better...most days! :-) I've heard of people stopping drinking and losing 10 pounds immediately, so it's kinda weird that I've cut out easily 1200 calories/week by not drinking since January and my weight hasn't reflected that. I'm not going to stop WOW, I'm just discouraged not to have the results I hoped for.
Tonight a friend is taking me out for my birthday dinner (yes, I know my actual birthday was over two months ago...my birthday lasts FOREVER!). :-) I'm really looking forward to catching up with her. Her hubby ended up in the ER for an emergency appendectomy last Thursday when I was in the ER with my mom for her fall (on that tip: my mom is healing very well -- we got her huge splint off today and now she just has a wrist-sized cast -- she got to pick the color: purple -- which will go with her Red Hatter garb! I'm amazed how well she is healing for being 77...I'm not sure I would heal that fast and I'm just a wee bit younger!!)
Tomorrow I'll go to the gym, do errands and then DB and I have ANOTHER birthday dinner with some friends (I told you we're mad birthday celebrators!). Sunday we'll have Easter breakfast with my mom, then we're seeing a property that I am very excited about the possibilities for (crossing fingers) and then having birthday dinner for my BFF (yes, someone else's birthday finally LOL).
DB leaves on Monday for a 12-day stint in Nearby Town with his parents. He's having to cover an extra week this month for one of his sisters, but that works out well because he's switching with her for August so he'll have the WHOLE MONTH OFF!! Yippeee!! We'll be going to Burning Man that month and my NYC family is coming to visit that month too so that will be great! I really hope we have a new home by then...
So today I'm down 0.8. I have a kind of a pact with an on-line friend that we will shoot for just ONE POUND a week until June and see what happens. ONE POUND a week seems so little (I can fluctuate that much during a bathroom break!), but it is a lot more than I have been able to average over the past months since October. This friend has helped support me with the WOW program and I'm hopeful that this new idea of hers will also inspire me.
On the WOW tip, I am shocked that my stopping drinking on weekdays has not resulted in continuing and constant weight loss. I was drinking every night for a looooong time and I thought this would really shake things up calorie-wise if nothing else. And I have been VERY good about sticking with the program...while I haven't seen an impact in my weight, I definitely FEEL better...most days! :-) I've heard of people stopping drinking and losing 10 pounds immediately, so it's kinda weird that I've cut out easily 1200 calories/week by not drinking since January and my weight hasn't reflected that. I'm not going to stop WOW, I'm just discouraged not to have the results I hoped for.
Tonight a friend is taking me out for my birthday dinner (yes, I know my actual birthday was over two months ago...my birthday lasts FOREVER!). :-) I'm really looking forward to catching up with her. Her hubby ended up in the ER for an emergency appendectomy last Thursday when I was in the ER with my mom for her fall (on that tip: my mom is healing very well -- we got her huge splint off today and now she just has a wrist-sized cast -- she got to pick the color: purple -- which will go with her Red Hatter garb! I'm amazed how well she is healing for being 77...I'm not sure I would heal that fast and I'm just a wee bit younger!!)
Tomorrow I'll go to the gym, do errands and then DB and I have ANOTHER birthday dinner with some friends (I told you we're mad birthday celebrators!). Sunday we'll have Easter breakfast with my mom, then we're seeing a property that I am very excited about the possibilities for (crossing fingers) and then having birthday dinner for my BFF (yes, someone else's birthday finally LOL).
DB leaves on Monday for a 12-day stint in Nearby Town with his parents. He's having to cover an extra week this month for one of his sisters, but that works out well because he's switching with her for August so he'll have the WHOLE MONTH OFF!! Yippeee!! We'll be going to Burning Man that month and my NYC family is coming to visit that month too so that will be great! I really hope we have a new home by then...
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Exhausted
Was up last night from 2:30 am until 6 am...my mom was in the ER for one of her tongue-swelling episodes (she's had them for 7 years). I'm exhausted...not a fun thing for a school night.
Stopped at McDs on the way home for a breakfast burrito (I was starving and decided I would eat that instead of my usual breakfast...that way I could sleep 1/2 hour later before having to get up for work). Definitely not my finest hour in resisting temptation.
Am still feeling like "if it's not one thing..."
I think I can still make the gym tonight on this little sleep. I hope so. My knee is acting up and I know it's because I've missed my gym lately (even though I've done some extra walking...which is probably not good for it).
Yawn.
Stopped at McDs on the way home for a breakfast burrito (I was starving and decided I would eat that instead of my usual breakfast...that way I could sleep 1/2 hour later before having to get up for work). Definitely not my finest hour in resisting temptation.
Am still feeling like "if it's not one thing..."
I think I can still make the gym tonight on this little sleep. I hope so. My knee is acting up and I know it's because I've missed my gym lately (even though I've done some extra walking...which is probably not good for it).
Yawn.
Monday, April 2, 2007
A smile-inducing weekend :-)
When I think about this weekend, I just smile. Except for some dealing with my mom's healing process from her accident, it was just a lovely lovely time.
Friday night, I headed to the beach and DB and I walked to have dinner at one of our local favorites. I had a chicken fajita wrap with some (no lard) refried beans and a margarita. I felt this was pretty healthy (except for the margarita!) with a view toward getting my digestion working a little better (and it worked). Then we walked back to DB's place and I headed back home for the night. I really can't wait until DB and I have a place together -- naturally we both like sleeping in our own homes so we don't get to sleep together as much as we used to. It will be nice when we are both "home" in the same bed!
Saturday was crazy errand day -- I got a pedicure, got my tax return from my tax attorney, went down to my mom's to take her some groceries (she's feeling really beat up now...lots of pain...stayed in bed most of the weekend), then did my own grocery shopping and finally made it to the gym at 6 pm. Since I'm getting a lot back from taxes (it's great to have an interest-only loan on my house because I pay sooo much interest!), I wanted to take DB out for a special dinner (we are in ruts with our favorite restaurants). We didn't have a clear idea of where to go, so I suggested that we walk down to a very cute street about 3 blocks from my house where we could just stroll and pick a restaurant that we hadn't been to. We walked up and down for probably an hour before picking a very "special occasion" sushi place. The atmosphere was beautiful (I felt like I was in Tokyo), the food was healthy, fresh and good and the wine was also special. We split a teeny sesame creme brulee for dessert. Yummy! Then we walked home. I think all this walking cancels out the two bites of creme brulee. ;-)
Yesterday my BFF took about 10 people out for a thank-you buffet brunch at a place overlooking the Marina. It was a gorgeous day and I actually ate less than I ever had at this buffet. I chose a LOT of salad (which was delish) and fish mostly. The only "bad" thing I had was a tiny tiny piece of banana bread pudding. We sat there for about 3 hours and unfortunately I had forgotten my sunscreen on my arms so today I have a farmer's sunburn on my arms. Ouch! At least I remembered my moisturizer with sunblock for my face!
After brunch, I went back to BFF's house where my pets were staying in her yard while there was (yet another) open house at my house. After that, I went home and cleaned out my car, then DB came and picked me up for a date! Fun! We went down to the beach and just walked around looking at everything, wandering the walk streets, looking at houses and dreaming of living in one. Then we just wanted a little snack for dinner so we headed to a wine and tapas place that we hadn't tried before and loved it. We both just had little plate of food (after the buffet, that's all we needed!) which was perfect. Then DB took me home and we smooched in the car like teenagers before he went home! ;-) What a fun date! I am thrilled that we still have such special times together after almost 3 years...the romance is still alive! :-) I am a very very lucky woman.
Friday night, I headed to the beach and DB and I walked to have dinner at one of our local favorites. I had a chicken fajita wrap with some (no lard) refried beans and a margarita. I felt this was pretty healthy (except for the margarita!) with a view toward getting my digestion working a little better (and it worked). Then we walked back to DB's place and I headed back home for the night. I really can't wait until DB and I have a place together -- naturally we both like sleeping in our own homes so we don't get to sleep together as much as we used to. It will be nice when we are both "home" in the same bed!
Saturday was crazy errand day -- I got a pedicure, got my tax return from my tax attorney, went down to my mom's to take her some groceries (she's feeling really beat up now...lots of pain...stayed in bed most of the weekend), then did my own grocery shopping and finally made it to the gym at 6 pm. Since I'm getting a lot back from taxes (it's great to have an interest-only loan on my house because I pay sooo much interest!), I wanted to take DB out for a special dinner (we are in ruts with our favorite restaurants). We didn't have a clear idea of where to go, so I suggested that we walk down to a very cute street about 3 blocks from my house where we could just stroll and pick a restaurant that we hadn't been to. We walked up and down for probably an hour before picking a very "special occasion" sushi place. The atmosphere was beautiful (I felt like I was in Tokyo), the food was healthy, fresh and good and the wine was also special. We split a teeny sesame creme brulee for dessert. Yummy! Then we walked home. I think all this walking cancels out the two bites of creme brulee. ;-)
Yesterday my BFF took about 10 people out for a thank-you buffet brunch at a place overlooking the Marina. It was a gorgeous day and I actually ate less than I ever had at this buffet. I chose a LOT of salad (which was delish) and fish mostly. The only "bad" thing I had was a tiny tiny piece of banana bread pudding. We sat there for about 3 hours and unfortunately I had forgotten my sunscreen on my arms so today I have a farmer's sunburn on my arms. Ouch! At least I remembered my moisturizer with sunblock for my face!
After brunch, I went back to BFF's house where my pets were staying in her yard while there was (yet another) open house at my house. After that, I went home and cleaned out my car, then DB came and picked me up for a date! Fun! We went down to the beach and just walked around looking at everything, wandering the walk streets, looking at houses and dreaming of living in one. Then we just wanted a little snack for dinner so we headed to a wine and tapas place that we hadn't tried before and loved it. We both just had little plate of food (after the buffet, that's all we needed!) which was perfect. Then DB took me home and we smooched in the car like teenagers before he went home! ;-) What a fun date! I am thrilled that we still have such special times together after almost 3 years...the romance is still alive! :-) I am a very very lucky woman.
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