MIA

Yeah, well, when I'm not posting, it's often because I am so bogged down in "life" and that is YES when weight problems arise. I have now officially gained back 15 pounds of what I lost last year and I feel like crap. I got to the point over the holidays when I had the "who cares?" attitude...and THAT is death to good eating.

So, yesterday, after pizza and birthday cake at Bon-Bon's third birthday party, I told DB that I am back on the SERIOUS program starting today. Not only are my skinny clothes not fitting (I haven't been brave enough to try them in over a month), I am afraid to ski next week with an additional 15 pounds on my body. And my new ski pants from last year most certainly won't fit.

I attribute most of this gain to my absolute total lack of real exercise for the past six months. I have a lot of excuses...starting with not feeling well really since August. It has been hard for me to contemplate exercise when that makes me cough. Then, just when the coughing was down to only early mornings, I got a cold the week before Christmas and it still hasn't gone away. It is draining me. Finally, I had the D&C and polypectomy on Thursday. The general anesthesia seemed to quiet the cold for that whole day and I was so excited...then the congestion and coughing came back on Friday. I have slept innumerable hours the past few days and am so tired still today...I could go home and go to sleep with no problem (and I am NOT a napper).

OK...so I'm back to close to where I was two years ago. Not happy, but armed with tools to fix this problem. I want to lose 20 pounds and stay there. I won't be skinny, but I will be healthy and comfortable in my body.

And now to catch up on micro-blogs from FB:

December 28: San Sai spicy sashimi salad just made me a whole lot happy.
December 31: ‎40 fingers and toes up for Exit Through The Gift Shop!
January 1: We just watched a half hour ad for a Time Life compilation of 70s music. And I really enjoyed singing along.
January 2: Happy Birthday, [Bon-Bon]!! So happy you were born three years ago today. I love you. :-)
January 2: Finally cooking the Christmas ham ... not that we need any more food...

And above is us on New Year's Eve...Happy New Year to all!!

Happy Belated Christmas!

I'm sorry I've been MIA...have been fighting a bad cold for over a week and before that Christmas festivities, etc. just pulled all my time and attention. The latest micro-blogs to catch y'all up:

Dec. 17: [post Adam show] He killed it...and a sweetheart to boot.
Dec. 17: Two (school) nights in a row up past 1...not a bad thing.
Dec. 18: Eek ..Tonite past midnight and oh so worth it. Thanks Jay for a fun time!!
Dec. 18: Time to bake the gingerbread for Yule celebration tonight.
Dec. 19: Finished shopping for my loved ones on this snuggly rainy day...now addicted to vintage eyeglass frames shopping on ebay...shhhhh, don't tell anyone...my present to me...ho ho ho!
Dec. 19: My poor sweetie is so under-the-weather...and this is some pretty harsh weather to be under! Super unlike.
Dec. 19: Frankincense, pine, gingerbread...my nose is happy.
Dec. 22: I am sick of being sick.
Dec. 24: Presents are wrapped and I think I'm getting better...all I want for Christmas is for my sweetie to feel better too.
Dec. 24: Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel, Feliz Navidad...I revel in the bounty with which I am graced during this beautiful season. Friends and family, YOU are the bounty.
Dec. 25: St. Nick [with photo of Doglet -- whose real name is Nick 'cause I got him 13 years ago on Boxing Day].
Dec. 26: Christmas with kids and grandkids rescheduled til next week due to illness.
Dec. 26: In line with 100 other people at Nordstrom Rack...the ancient Boxing Day shopping tradition is baaaack. Hoping this is the cure for lingering cold...

Still have very yukky cold with lots of green stuff coming out of my nose daily. YUCK. DB has been sick for ages and is headed to the doc again this afternoon. I am at work this week, but it is very very quiet. And my weight is SUCK. I ate like the bad-old-days over the weekend -- carborama -- and the scale shows it. Cracking down today to get in shape for skiing in three weeks -- at my current weight, I am afraid my ski pants won't fit! I have not been exercising for six months and it shows.

Looking forward to Black and White Ball for NYE...got a gorgeous gown yesterday (DB is wearing a tux)...I hope we are both better by then...

Merry Christmas to all and HAPPY NEW YEAR (if I don't get back here before then)!!

I keep forgetting to post micro-blogs here...

...when I do on Facebook, so here are my latest statuses from FB:

December 10: Heading out for groupie duty...and gorillas.
December 12: ‎80 degrees at Venice Beach...no holiday-wear for this weather! Maybe shorts and Santa hat...
December 15: Theatre Date Night!
Today: Tonight: Adam Lambert at Club Nokia...yippeee!

I'll try to remember to pop in here to do these...wish there was a way to link.

Hope everyone is hangin' in... :-)

The wheel turns

We had the memorial for Sheila last Saturday. Ended up not camping because it's been really cold (well, California cold!) recently. It was beautiful and moving. Starting late in the afternoon, we burned sage and incense around the shell holding her ashes, then had a champagne toast, then scattered many rose petals on the sand at the edge of the ocean at her favorite beach. We scattered her ashes on top. The tide was coming in to send her all over the world...as it should be...she was an adventurous world traveller.

After we scattered the ashes, some of us spoke. I read part of an e-mail I wrote to her the day she died and read a poem from a book of Rumi that she had given to me. Others shared their memories and love of our dear friend.

After sunset, we headed for drinks and appetizers (funded by her estate) in a beautiful location at the end of a pier to celebrate an extraordinary life.

Most of last week, we had two of her NYC friends staying with us and it was wonderful to get to know them. Sheila kept her friends kind of compartmentalized so many of us did not know each other well or at all. I had only briefly met this friend on a visit she made to Sheila here, then she and her husband drove us to see Sheila the last time we were in NYC (and the last time we saw Sheila...in the hospital). Well, it turns out that this woman and I have A LOT of weird things in common. I feel like Sheila left me a new friend. Thank you, Sheila! :-)

The other big thing going on (except for extreme "oh my God I have hardly gotten any gifts yet" stress) is that I'm going to have to have a D&C...trying to get it by the end of the month. I'm not sure if I wrote about it, but I had an interminable period in August, had an ultrasound and they found the lining slightly thickened. My doc and I decided to wait a few months to see if my body would slough it off. Had another ultrasound last Monday and it's the same...and a little bit thicker. There's also a small fibroid and they think there may be a polyp in there that needs to come out.

Sooo...I have to have another test next Monday and meet the doc who will do the procedure. They hopefully get it scheduled and done by the end of the month because I've met my insurance deductible for the year. I don't think I'm REALLY worried, but do want to get this done. Being on hormones, there is always an increased risk of problems.

Weight is steady...higher than I'd like, but...

I actually THINK about blogging all the time...

...and if I could THINK or talk my blog entries into being while I drive to and from work (like I use the voice recognition software on my Droid to send e-mail and texts without typing), there would probably be at least one entry a day! I hope someone gets on developing that capability soon... ;-)

Today I weigh exactly 10 pounds more than I did last Thanksgiving. That is not great, but I guess it could be worse considering I can put on 5 pounds in a DAY. As I have said before, I am sure that it's all about exercise. I am eating identically to the way I ate last year, but I am not exercising much. I know this, but I am not doing it. I don't know why.

Tomorrow we are headed to Nearby Town for Thanksgiving and we will be with PD1 and PD2 and their families along with some of DB's siblings and their families. I love cooking for Thanksgiving and it's wonderful to have so many pitching in. We will be there until Saturday.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I enjoy reveling in my thankfulness. This year, the thoughts going through my head go something like this:

For many years, Thanksgiving for me was a friend holiday, not a family one. I lived in NYC and my parents were in Indiana -- I could only afford to go home for one holiday and I chose Christmas. I started to love Thanksgiving during those Friend Thanksgiving years. No family pressure, just fun with friends. Every Thanksgiving was different although if I ended up cooking I usually made the same menu. It was a relaxing and wonderful time of year. I was thankful.

As I got older (and moved to LA where I had more space to entertain), I always invited a bunch of people over to eat the feast with me. The most people I ever had was, I think, 20...and all but one were friends, not family. I was and am blessed with some truly great friends. I was thankful.

I never seemed to have a boyfriend on Thanksgiving and, as I moved through my 30s, I came to terms with the fact that I might be "alone" (i.e., without a mate/partner) for the rest of my life. I came to terms with not having kids (even though I loved them so) because I recognized how difficult it would be to have some (or one) on my own and I didn't want to cheat a kid out of a dad from the get-go (and none of my boyfriends were daddy material). While these may seem to be sad or depressing thoughts, they weren't. They were realistic and I was a very happy woman. My life was happy happy happy and fun and fabulous. I had a home of my own, a great job, great family, great friends. I was thankful.

Then DB showed up in my life. And I got happier than I ever imagined I could be. Having accepted that I might not find a partner (even while still hoping that I might...and working toward that), he was (and is) a huge treat. I started to give thanks for having been lucky enough to find him. And, if that wasn't enough, with this amazing man, the love of my life, I got a huge bonus: I got children and grandchildren to love too! I got EVERYTHING I ever wanted...

"Thankful", at this point, almost doesn't seem a big enough word to say how I feel:

I feel Thankfulfilled!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone...may you all be thankfulfilled.

Our new mural

Thought you all might like to see this...painted during our local monthly art event last night. This is the wall in front of our house. I love it!

I know I'm a slacker blogger...

...but I seem to be doing ok with micro-blogging on Facebook. Need to research how to link the two so when I post on FB it shows up here too so at least SOMETHING appears more often than every two weeks.

Life is still busy. DB is playing with 3 musical projects so we have rehearsals here in the studio many nights and performances many others. As I said on FB last night: "being a groupie is tiring, but rewarding". ;-)

We had a fun night last Wednesday going to a premiere for a film featuring one of our good friends. She had a fantastic role and I had not seen her act before...wow, she was great!! So absolutely cool to see your friends excel! She was actually the LEAD female in the film with a lot of famous/good actors. Too bad the film wasn't very good...lots of good performances though (including our friend).

I still am working toward weight-loss -- yesterday I weighed less than I have in a long time. And today I gained 5 pounds from yesterday morning! (I know why -- CHIPS and beer during a day-long child's/parent's birthday party then DB gig.) Oh well...I am working on it still...need more exercise mostly...the food remains pretty good most every day. But it sure is interesting how FAST the weight comes (and goes) on the scale. My sensitivity to carbs is really astonishing.

This Thursday during a monthly event we have in our neighborhood where there is tons of art exhibited, we are having an artist do a live mural painting on our front wall. I am so excited. We live in a kind of compound and our front wall has been so boring and white. Now it will have a whimsical painting of a gorilla family walking to the beach...by an up-and-coming artist in our community. There are a lot of murals in public places in Venice...I am happy to think of us contributing to that. :-)

In addition to DB gigs all over the place (usually at least once a week), our next three weekends are booked. Friends and pre-Thanksgiving prep next weekend, Thanksgiving in Nearby Town at DB's family's house (may be the last year the house is in the family so we and PD1 and PD2's families are going up for some fun family time), then memorial weekend for my friend Sheila who died in July (we are camping out near the beach and doing ash-scattering/memorial on Saturday afternoon -- people coming from near and far).

I have been doing daily meditations/chanting for a better more-positive future for the world...so much negativity everywhere I see...I blame the media A LOT...I believe we can create a POSITIVE future and we all need to work toward that. Concentrating on this makes me and my world happier...micro to macro. Om.