Wednesday, August 3, 2011

It's still working...and I'm still working it

Each week lately I hit a "new low" for this phase of my journey with weight. It's usually at the end of the week and early in the week I "gain" back a bit. But the trend remains downward, week after week. I am so happy that I have been writing my weight down every day for a few years...it lets me see the patterns...and how they change.

Almost all the clothes in my closet fit and look good. At my current weight, I feel and look healthy. 10 or 15 pounds more than this, I don't. I wore a pair of jeans last Friday that I haven't worn in over a year and that felt really good. I have also worn some things that have NEVER fit (because I bought them too small...thinking I'd keep losing...and didn't).

I am 5 pounds or so above my lowest weight from October 2009. And, yes, I would like to lose those 5 pounds too and 5 more for good measure.

I am more fit than I was a few years ago, I think. I feel strong and graceful getting back into my Yoga Body. I still am getting up at an hour I never have before (voluntarily) for yoga twice a week (class starts at 6:45). Getting up is hard, but once I am there I am so happy.

Trying on my wedding dresses (I have 14 -- two for each day of Burning Man -- my art project = me = The Bride!), my arms look toned and strong. And wedding dresses are seemingly engineered to look and fit better than any clothes I have ever worn before -- I swear I look, well, beautiful in every one! What fun!

I am still going to therapy but am considering quitting -- the One Big Thing that I wanted to deal with doesn't seem to be coming up with this therapist. Some weeks it is useful, but mostly I feel like I'm wasting time and money.

We are heavily into pre-Burning Man preps, but I think we will be good and ready by the time we leave on August 28. It will be a special year, for sure! DB and I are determined to stay healthy.

I go in for blood work and gyne appointment the week before we leave. I am excited (and hopeful) that the meds, supplements and small dietary changes that I have made show in the blood work. Right now, I am using my scale as a gauge of health -- seeing my weight go down the past couple of months with minimal diet and exercise changes has made me realize what a useful tool it is for that. I should have known earlier this year when my weight was weird and I couldn't fix it that something else in my system was too.

Work continues exceedingly busy...but I am taking deep breaths and trying to remain calm! ;-)

A friend signed off an e-mail recently with something I really love and am going to start to use:

If anything can go well, it will.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Two pieces of body/weight knowledge reinforced

The colonoscopy turned out fine. Doc was very happy that I had cleaned out for two days ahead of time instead of just one. I was too because it made the "prep" much less unpleasant. I had one polyp that he is sure is ok and it was removed (they biopsy it anyway). Now, here are the two things reinforced:

1. All calories are not created equal. I am certain that I "ate" less calories in my two prep days than I normally do. But they were all sugar and/or salt liquids (even though I tried to stay low sodium and lower carb). Did I lose weight? No. I actually "gained" a couple of pounds which are still lingering. I have no doubt that they will melt away after a couple of days back to my normal low-carb, low-sodium eating. So, if you think it's just a matter of calories, I say it's not. Food composition is, in my opinion and my experience, equally important.

2. Everybody's body is different. DB made the same anesthesia choice as I did. He was awake and ready to eat on the way home from his procedure. I was woozy and unhungry for HOURS after I was awake. I literally could not make my brain work to do any work that afternoon from home (as I had planned). Felt fine the next day, but the day Of? Nope. My body processed the anesthesia differently. I extrapolate this to most everything with how individual's bodies work -- there may be similarities, but it's important to know YOUR body and listen to it.

Fun yoga thing: this morning in class, the teacher said "hey, look back here, this is a perfect plank hiding in the back of class". Yes, that was me. I felt good because I work on form HARD. And that is something that this teacher really works on too. Of course, we're all perfect, but I still felt kinda extra-perfect today. ;-)

Going away this weekend for three days for our last pre-wedding anniversary (7 years on Saturday).

Monday, July 18, 2011

Quick prep update

First to Sharla: my gyne recommends Designs for Health brand and I use them quite a lot. Your doc can set you up with an account and you can buy direct from their website although my acupuncture doc also carries it if I need to pick up locally.

Interesting colonoscopy prep observation: I usually do not eat a lot of salt or sugar. Pretty much the only calories on this liquid diet prep are from sugar and, unless you are REALLY careful, the broth you buy is VERY salty (what I bought at a regular store for DB last week had like 100% of RDA in one box). Starting on liquid yesterday, "eating" these things I am not used to anymore, I noticed that the first taste wakes up my taste buds like "wow, a party in my mouth", but after about 3 sips, I literally cannot taste the flavor of the "food" AT ALL. It kills my taste buds. So, no, this is not fun. ;-)

I don't love the sugar spikes either...but I've got to have something in my system because I am used to eating every few hours and get nauseous and weak if I don't.

For those of you doing prep in future, try the Trader Joe's low sodium broth: it's got less than 1/5 of the regular grocery store's sodium and, otherwise, the nutrition information is identical. I'm looking forward to that for lunch and dinner.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

The changes are still working

I still don't know which of the meds or supplements is the thing (or things) that kicked my body back headed to a more comfortable weight, but it's still working and so I'm happy!

Tomorrow I start my clean-out for my first colonoscopy...oh fun! DB had his last week and it was no big deal because he started cutting out hard foods a day early so I'm going to do the same thing. My body is ready for a cleanse so I'm actually kind of looking forward to it even though the only (all liquids) things I can eat over the next couple of days seem to have a lot of sugar or salt. DB didn't lose a single pound during his process so I'm just going to be happy to stay the same.

Today I reached a new low for this last couple of years...just a few more pounds until I'm at my all-time low from October 2009...less than last year at this time so that feels good. I am happy I write down my weight every day...it really helps.

Laura asked about supplements. I love them and take a lot...so, here's my list, with NO recommendations for ANYONE else...this is just what I do each day:

women's multi with low iron (I get overloaded on iron easily)
vitamin C (builds immune system)
berberine (helps body process glucose)
alpha lipoic acid (ditto -- powerful antioxidant)
glucosamine/chondroitin/MSM (joints)
vitamin D (hmmm...all docs say to take this now...I was taking too much, so have halved)
DIM (helps body process bio-identical hormones)
cranberry (protects from urinary infections to which I am prone)
ubiquinol (helps liver process the red rice yeast, which is a statin)
(and, at night) red rice yeast (cholesterol)

I've noted above what I think each helps...your mileage may vary. And, of course, am taking the natural thyroid prescription.

I'm excited to get my blood tests next month to see if this all shows up in the blood as well as on the scale.

Yoga feels so good -- I can't believe I'm getting up so early twice a week for ANYTHING. My yoga body is coming back. Showing someone a photo of my wedding gown (strapless) yesterday, they said "wow, you have a great upper body". YOGA, BABY!

And it goes on...

Friday, July 8, 2011

Finally taking a few minutes to catch up here

And there's A LOT to catch up on over the past month so this is going to be in list-form and not elegantly phrased (no time to edit, just typing away to get things down before too much time has passed and I forget things):

Weight loss: I am down between 10 and 13 pounds from the highest weight in the range I've been in for the last 6-8 months. How and why did this happen after SO MUCH trying and frustration? I changed my diet VERY little since getting the medical results at the end of May: stopped egg yolks and cut down on meat and animal products (goodbye cheese and morning turkey bacon). I added a veggie (onion, mushroom and/or whatever remnants are in the fridge) to my morning egg product. But, MOSTLY, I think it's something that I've added: either the thyroid medication or the supplements to help my body digest (specifically glucose) better. I even managed to keep my weight in the lower range over vacation. I like seeing the scale go down. Or even hover in a lower range.

Yoga: I'm very addicted now to my twice-weekly 6:45 am yoga class that I substituted for my twice-weekly nighttime gym workout. This is in addition to the Saturday class I've been taking for about 6 months. I am just totally loving this teacher and this class -- you know it's true because I am SO not a get-up-early-and-exercise person! It's wonderful to feel my yoga-body coming back. I get stronger every day. So I miss 45 minutes of sleep twice a week...it's worth it!

The Big News: DB and I are planning a couple of weddings. Oh yeah, you knew that one wouldn't be enough for us! ;-) While we have considered ourselves married for years, when we heard the Burning Man art theme for this year was "Rites of Passage", we started thinking about having a wedding. And, when we realized that a lot of our family and friends couldn't or wouldn't make the time and money commitment to go to BM, we decided we'd have another wedding next year too. This is perfect because I so cannot decide on just ONE wedding dress! I've been ebay shopping like crazy and am planning to wear (short, cute) wedding dresses and veils EVERY DAY at BM this year. It's my costume: The Bride. You wouldn't believe how cheap you can get GORGEOUS dresses on ebay. Anyway, the one next year will probably be at the lake that we went to on vacation with the PDs and their families in mid-June (near Yosemite). We loved it there and it's where we told our family about the weddings. My sister will be matron of honor and all the girls in the family (my niece, my PDs, my granddaughters will all be bridesmaids!). It's been fun to see everyone's reaction: ALL thrilled and excited.

Work: HORRIBLE heavy workload. Having a meeting in an hour to discuss with bosses what to do before I have a breakdown. I am not going to be modest: I am fantastic at my job and even my super-powers cannot handle the load right now. Thank goodness for therapy right now...although it takes time out of my workday that I do NOT have.

So...wedding on Sept. 1 at Burning Man...be there. :-)

Friday, June 3, 2011

Frustrated and depressed, but with sassy hair



Hopefully, the above will be a photo of my sassy new hair. After the initial panic at how much she cut off, I kind of love it. :-)

I danced hard at Prince last Sunday night and got a great quad workout. I had my best weigh-in in AGES on Monday morning. By Thursday, the scale showed me up EIGHT pounds. I just do not think this is normal. I eat great, I exercise (although, after a great yoga week last week, I wasn't able to do yoga this week -- knee blew up after Prince-dancing -- my bad). But EIGHT pounds in four days? Seriously? The only bad thing that I ate that I don't normally was 5 cubes of pineapple and about 4 bites of birthday cake and ice cream on Wednesday night. THIS causes 8 pound weight-gain? Yes, I am depressed. I am angry and I am sad. I watch people eat scones, chips and other CRAP every day and no effect. I am mad that my body doesn't react the same way. It's not that I want to eat crap all the time, but I want to be able to eat something "bad" once in a while...maybe even once a week. I used to be able to do that and I apparently can't now.

I had therapy on Wednesday evening and it was good although we have not gotten into the weight thing yet.

I had a very interesting appointment with my acupuncture doctor this morning -- I am so lucky to have his insights to help me navigate my western docs! :-)

We went over all the (sometimes contradictory) test results I got from my gyne and my main MD this week:

Calcium: He agrees with MD that it is too high and it's probably caused by the high level of vitamin D I've been taking. He agrees that I should go down to 5K mg rather than 10K (which is what I have done, contrary to Gyne's recommendation that I maintain at 10K). Sounds like she should have checked my calcium when having me on such high doses of D. The calcium elevation could exacerbate the other heart-endangering things going on. And it's probably related to the thyroid stuff below too.

Glucose: He agrees with Gyne that it is too high (top "normal" level is 100 -- in range from 65-100 -- and I'm at 92) -- MD was totally unworried about that level. Acu Doc thinks the reading I got from MD on hemoglobin AIC (5.2) is wrong (Gyne's was 5.8, 6 is pre-diabetic). He agrees with the supplements Gyne told me to take and, contrary to what I planned, thinks I should take both unless I am going to cut out alcohol from my diet entirely (which I am not quite ready to do). Interestingly on booze -- he suggested vodka and tequila might be better than champagne. I told him I don't like that they make me drunk.

Cholesterol: It's up to 240 with bad cholesterol up to 152. :-( Probably exacerbated by all the other stuff going on. Acu Doc agrees with MC to cut out egg yolks and cheese and suggested cutting out red meat too (which I told him I have already done since getting these test results). MD is going to re-test me in two months.

Thyroid: Agrees with Gyne. TSH and T4 are apparently in acceptable range (although TSH has gone up which indicates the body is trying to stimulate the thyroid...unsuccessfully), but T3 (only tested by Gyne) is rock bottom. He says this means that the conversion from T4 to T3 is not working so agrees I should take the quarter grain of Naturthroid (which I started this week).

Weight: He thinks that my difficulty in getting it off despite nearly perfect diet is related to glucose and thyroid. I need to remember that challenges are opportunities for growth and SURRENDER to the fact that my body is different from others, i.e., I can't eat/drink/be-merry like others and still maintain my weight. This SUCKS, but I think he is right and I need to meditate on it to get peaceful, and not sad and angry, about it.

I told him that all this, along with my injured knee/back, etc., is really depressing me. He gave me a good pep talk -- I'm fixing these problems BEFORE they become problems unlike most people, etc. He says he has a lot of the same problems and understands...they happen to a lot of people as they age.

This is really a struggle for me on so many levels. But I keep trying. And this weekend, we have four of the grandkids coming to stay with us (yay!) so that will cheer me up.

Friday, May 27, 2011

My monthly round-up

As Vickie has reminded me how long I have been absent here, I am dropping in with my monthly round-up of FB status updates for your reading pleasure:

April 28: The dog on Steve Carrell's Office finale looks like Doglet...and I'm feeling so nostalgic overall about this.

April 29: Prince for the second time in 6 nights? Heck, yeah!

April 29: Mint Condition opens...

April 30: Gorgeous summer-like day in our little beach town. A great day for some yoga and a pedi. :-)

April 30: Loving home. Where it's warm enough to sit in the yard in my jammies with the breeze in the trees, candles burning, chiminea later.

April 30: Sounds like all the neighbors are out enjoying the warm evening with us...not noisy, just sounds like happiness. And we've got a fragrant fire. And my sweetie is strumming guitar. Kinda bliss.

April 30: Smudging the 'hood.

May 2: I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. –Martin Luther King, Jr.

May 2: I hear my MLK quote was not MLK. However, I still completely believe what it said. Just wish i could give attribution to the actual author.

May 4: At this time of night it's vewy vewy quiet here...so I guess I have no choice but to go to sleep.

May 6: That's my Mommy! Happy Mother's Day! :-)

May 6: This week my sweetheart surprised me with gifts of music and art. I am an incredibly lucky woman. :-)

May 7: Time to get sassy! [I got my hair cut -- 12 inches plus to donate for wigs for people battling cancer -- done in honor of my friend who died last year. Hair is shorter than it has been since my early 20s and, after a brief freak-out, I kinda love it!]

May 7: On the way to City of Hope benefit at Universal Studios. :-) [This benefit was so much fun: we saw The Eagles play and then had the run of the park for free!]

May 8: Happy birthday to my sweet nephew, the fantastic superlative J!! I love you. :-)

May 9: Ouch ouch ouch. 4th day of leg, arm, head pains. I think it's a nerve in my back. :-(

May 13: Joshua Tree Music Fest, here I come!

May 14: Dr. Bronner's foam tub isn't just a bath, it's an amusement park ride! And I have a weekend pass. :-)

May 17: Celebrating The Friendaversary in The Bunker. [with our best "couple friends" while the rest of our house was having its floors redone]

May 18: Does anyone need a set of extra small dog booties (for paws about 2 1/2 X 2 1/2 inches)? Unused, but tried on so unreturnable. They're yours (free) if you want 'em!

May 21: Being optimistic...heading to giant costume sale. My rapture? Bargain costume shopping. :-)

May 23: Yoga tomorrow morning, 6:45 am.

May 24: Who LOVES Prince and wants to go with me on Sunday night to the last show of the Forum series? [PD2]

May 24: It's so obvious to me that Scotty is the star...why are they manipulating otherwise? Oh well, could be wrong.

May 25: Trying to be blase, but very excited to be going to American Idol finale today!

May 25: Rob Halford just walked by...have never seen so many studs on a leather outfit. And that's saying something.

May 25: All the Idols just walked by us. Lauren hugged the kids I'm with...now I like her better. And Scotty is a sweetheart.

May 25: Four rows in front of Ryan right now on camera

May 25: James has on almost as many studs as Rob.

May 25: Loved Casey with Jack Black. Fun!

May 25: They wouldn't let me update anymore so that's why there was a break. Really fun show. Backstage now. :-)

May 25: I had the MOST fun at AI finale tonight and so happy for Scotty. :-)

May 25: My last AI finale thought: Simon Fuller smells amazing...even better than the previous best-smeller, Randy Jackson. ;-)

May 27: Seeing the new painting on the wall this morning gives me a big smile. [Went to art opening last night and bought an amazing painting!]

May 27: Available July 1: Our super-charming 1 BR, 1BA apartment at the beach! PM me for more info.

Well, that's it. Weight is going down SLOWLY. I have started to get up early to do two 6:45 am yoga classes during the week because I just enjoy yoga more than any other exercise and, therefore, I work harder at it. Got hormone results back yesterday and there are some problems -- plus glucose is too high (not pre-diabetic...yet). Have plans to work on all of it. Also started back to therapy last week and the new therapist is great: three excellent insights in the first 50 minutes! Yes, I'm excited for this!!

Hope everyone enjoys the long weekend -- I am still reading blogs, just not posting.