Update: NO CAST!! I have a microfracture of my wrist a/k/a "bone bruise" so I get to keep my hard brace and NO CAST. I am SO happy...was dreading how to take showers with a cast...and, most importantly, having to decide what color to get! ;-)
Although I had two beers on Wednesday night (bad hormonal day), I somehow still managed to lose this week: over 3 pounds!! Maybe the long walk I took with Doglet (also on Wednesday night) and eating not much more than the 2 beers that night balanced it out. But a three-pound week is surprising...especially with hormone stuff going on. Like some weeks when I don't lose or stay the same, I really can't figure out for sure what happened this week (maybe less muscle mass because I'm not doing 4 arm weight machines at the gym?), but I'll take it! ;-)
I'm also continuing to be baffled by my perception when I look in the mirror. While after 27 plus pounds lost, my clothes are obviously either fitting much better or are falling off, I seem to SEE more fat on my body than I did 27 pounds ago. I am bothered by the bumpy skin hanging under my arms, the bumpiness on my belly (even though I can see muscles again -- yay!), the looseness of my thighs and butt. I don't remember focusing on this before and I don't think I did. I think it's part of how I (we?) deal with our heaviness -- I didn't let myself really SEE it. If I did, I would have been SO depressed.
While this not-seeing is not good because it probably contributed significantly to my getting bigger than I should have been, it is also a symptom of my general lack of ability to accurately/truthfully perceive my body, period. When I was super-thin (that brief shining moment!) I still thought I was "fat". Then when I was "fat", I didn't see how fat I was. This is a problem and I'm not entirely sure how to address it/fix it. But what I'm trying to really appreciate this time is that, while I may see those smaller "flaws" a lot more now, I look good NOW. That doesn't mean that I don't want to lose a little more weight and that I won't look even better then (to a point...at super-thin time, as photos attest, I did NOT look better). But it does mean that I look GOOD today. At this weight. In these clothes. I look healthy.
Well, except for the brace on my wrist... ;-)
Had an MRI yesterday and will hopefully get the results today. Crossing my fingers that I don't need a cast, but something IS wrong in there. If it's not the break that my doc thinks, I may get away with the brace for the remainder of the healing time.
Tonight I'm going to see a performance of The Who's Tommy. A friend from college who is having quite a successful theatrical career is starring. I haven't seen her in FOREVER, but I will get in touch with her afterwards. :-)
I'm looking forward to going shopping tomorrow with DB's daughter (Pretend Daughter, PD)...I'm buying her a dress for some special upcoming festivities: her best friend's 30th birthday tomorrow, her OWN 30th birthday next Saturday and a wedding in a few weeks. Mostly I'm looking forward to spending time with HER. I love PD. :-) Oh yeah, and we're getting a pedicure and brow wax too... ;-)
Most of all, I'm looking forward to DB coming HOME on Sunday. I have missed him so much.