Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Committing myself

And, no, I don't mean to an institution although some days I wonder... ;-)

I am making a big commitment in time and money to fitness over the next few months. In addition to joining my oh-so-expensive gym, I have just committed to an additional 10 private yoga sessions that will run weekly starting in February when my current set of sessions expires. As you all can imagine, this is REALLY expensive. I don't even want to say how much. But it's equal to more than 4 months of my gym membership (which, of course, I'll continue to pay). Not to mention the time that I am committing...once every weekend...which means no weekend trips (except one to NYC in early March that I've already scheduled).

I feel really silly having been writing here for over a year and sitting here weighing not much (if any) less than I did when I started. I certainly can't call myself a "weight loss blogger" now can I? NO. And that's ok, because this blog has given and continues to give me a place to air my frustrations with my weight and the struggles with it as well as other frustrations and joys.

If I don't lose substantially over the next three months with all the exercise I have planned and by continuing my efforts to eat right, then I'm going to have to take a long very hard look AGAIN at what's going on.

When I lost my "big weight" starting in February 1994, I remember the weight just coming off as long as I didn't eat a bag of Doritos for dinner with a Haagen Daaz pint dessert (I can't believe it, but that is not a joke) and as long as I was vigilant about exercise (I went every other day religiously for years).

I know I haven't been able to be vigilant like I would like to be about exercise for the past year or so due to knee and toe issues. And that really sucks. But now I have to figure out how I am going to exercise WITH these challenges (and, God forbid, any future ones). (Yes, Frankentoe is irritating me this week -- the final pin is starting to push itself out and OUCH! I have a doctor appointment Friday to aspirate the infection in there and I'm hoping the doc will be able to get that pin OUT too.)

And, while I think I've been "good" most of the time with food, I haven't been great. And I have struggled with cutting back on the alcohol too (although I seem to do well during the week and/or if I don't START...kind of same with food...I'm planning a post one of these days soon about my addictive personality because I've been thinking a lot about that lately since I've had troubles with smoking, food and drinking in my time). But for the past few weeks since the new year began, I have been bordering on great with all of it. (Not perfect. Never perfect. I don't even want to be perfect because I want treats sometimes or life is boring!) And the scale, so far, is not moving.

Yes, OK, I am not letting myself get discouraged. I do like feeling hungry during the day rather than grabbing something the minute I'm not full. And I love feeling my body get used to exercise again (I feel like that's happening very fast endurance on the elliptical is exponentially better than it was just last week.)

So that's my weight loss commitment today...hopefully since it involves cash and time I'll be able to really make some progress. The one good thing about an addictive personality is that it works for good stuff too -- once I get in a habit of eating right and exercising, I'm pretty good about maintaining as long as I don't "fall off the wagon".

In other news...American Idol is back...YAY! And, most importantly, only four more sleeps until DB is home again. :-)


Grumpy Chair said...

Helen, sounds like a great plan. I think the money spent on one-on-one yoga sessions will pay for themselves by just making you feel so good after your workout.

Vickie said...

You started out with the one-on -one to get back into the swing of things.

Are you continueing the one-on-one because no class times work for you? or because you can't modify enough in the classes to make it work?

don't misunderstand me - I think it is GREAT that you are doing the one-on-one - I just wondered why more.

PS - Nan takes nearly the same yoga classes that I do - with major knee problems. She can't do a lot of things. Colleen is so used to having Nan in class that as she is leading class she will give alternatives for the "knee- challenged" now - in every class. She also give alternatives for the balance challenged, the opening shoulders challenged, etc. Colleen is in her 30's and has no physical problems herself - but she has figured out that if you teach mostly 45-70 year olds - there are going to be physcial issues and she just addresses them up front.

Helen said...

To answer Vickie, I am continuing with the one-on-one yoga for a few reasons. There are no class times/places that work for me at my level right now. I need to get more strong and learn variations before heading to a class where I'll do variations myself (unfortunately, out here, there are SO many yoga teachers who are really NOT qualified as "real" yoga teachers so they can't give good variations...I know some, even a lot, but not enough to give myself variations yet). It's important for me to do this to get stronger and smarter so I don't hurt myself when I head to a class. I wish there was an Iyengar place or even class close to me because it is so good for injuries, but the Iyengar center in L.A. is just too far away to be practical for me. :-(

Lori said...

I agree with Alicia, the one on one really will make you feel better and help you stick with the other resolutions

As for the food, do you keep a food log? I'm sure you do but it might be worth looking at where you're eating and who you are with and how you feel.

I could write the same thing you're saying about here it is a year later and I'm sitting here not weigh not much less than I did last year. And I consider you a weight loss blogger too. It's not a problem that can be solved and have a big stamp saying, "Case Closed" on it. Just keep trying. You may have to fine tune it further.